How to Avoid Being Labeled a Creeper

There is one title that all good men fear being on the receiving end of, one title that is never crowned in glory. This dreaded title? "Creeper." Although perhaps not a properly accepted English word, this title is regularly tossed around the lips of relatively sweet college girls on campuses across America. This is used most commonly to describe a man who they find "creepy" due to some aspect of him or interaction with him; sadly, for all of these "creepy" men, they are generally forever put in the "out" box of any relationship with said females. Perhaps even sadder still is that many of these unfortunate males are entirely unintentionally creepy in their actions; instead, they are inevitably considered creepy due to their appearance or social awkwardness. Many men think that this instant labeling of them without any further interaction is quite unfair, since they believe that they were never given the chance to show their "true personalities." In order to help all gentlemen out across America, here are a few helpful bits of advice on how to avoid being blotted as a creeper.

Sporting a mustache will automatically have you deemed as a creeper. While it is true that there are a few dashing men who are capable of allowing their facial hair to curl down upon their lips while still appearing approachable, the truth remains that most men will never be able to do so. "Creeper" and "mustache" tend to be eternally inseparable words. Save yourself the agony of being labeled a creeper and just shave the 'stache.

Additionally, there are very, very few men who can compliment a woman's leg muscles without sounding awkward or creepy. (Note: I also know of one guy who told a girl she had nice shoulder muscles like a swimmer; this seemingly harmless compliment was received as an impossibly creepy statement and she avoided him at all costs following said interaction.) Even if a girl is working out her calf muscles at the gym, you should avoid any urge to walk up to her and introduce yourself with a friendly, "Hi, I'm Dmitri and I think your calf muscles are just incredibly strong." Such an approach is a guarantee to failure, and possibly even to a slap in the face.

Admitting to Facebook stalking is also not on the list of "Top Ten Things Women Want in Men." Regardless of whether or not you happen to notice if a certain female generally updates her statuses around 10:30pm every other evening, never take it upon yourself to comment on this fact to her. She is most likely completely oblivious to her habit and will find yourself ever- so- creepy for being aware of this. Additionally, commenting on every new status (at 10:35 pm every other night) could just as easily creep her out.

Finally, on a similar note, it's never exactly a brilliant idea to outline your knowledge of a female's schedule to her. Again, whether or not you happen to notice that she tends to take a bathroom break around 11:14am every morning at work is entirely beyond the point; she'll be forever avoiding you if you reveal this knowledge to her.

Overall, avoiding the title "creeper" is not all too complicated. All you must do now is simply shave your 'stache and burn the note that you were planning on sending your crush asking her why she always checks her mailbox at 12:23pm on Tuesday afternoons.