How to Avoid Dating Disappointments

Kyra Lennon
Dating is a matter of trial and error. There is no such thing as a formula for a successful date because everyone is different. What works for one person may not work for another - all you can do is be yourself. However, there are some things you should do to help stop your dating experience becoming a disappointing one. Dating is supposed to be fun, so take a look at these tips on how to avoid dating disappointments.

1. Don't put all your hopes into one person too soon

This is a common mistake made mostly by women, though some men have been known to do it too. After you have had a few good dates with a person it is very easy to get swept away with the notion of being with them for eternity. Before you throw away your little black book, take a moment to think clearly. A few dates is not a sign of commitment for most people so don't instantly limit your options. Getting carried away before you know exactly where you stand is a quick way to find yourself disappointed, so don't give your heart away too soon. Protect it until the time is right.

2. Don't change who you are

Some people seem to develop a completely new personality when they begin dating. Although it is perfectly normal to be on your best behaviour, that doesn't mean compromising who you are. As soon as the real you begins to shine through, your date will wonder why you are suddenly acting differently. It isn't a flaw in your real identity if your date doesn't like it, it's just that some personality types don't gel. To avoid dating disappointments, be sure to always be yourself.

3. Know when to move on

At some point in our lives, most of us will become deeply attracted to someone, only to find out that their looks are the only appealing thing about them. When this happens, it's hard to let go after having the fantasy for so long. But if the relationship isn't going to work out, that will be the same whether it ends sooner or later and the longer you cling on, the more disappointed you will be. Don't wait around in the hope that there may be something you missed. Move on.

4. Don't compare them to past partners

So, you've found someone new to date. Great! Appreciate them for who they are. Spending time thinking, "Jim had much softer hair than my new boyfriend," or "Annie isn't as funny as my last girlfriend", focus on the things you like about them. Your past relationships are over and your new dates may have very little in common with your former partners. See this as a good thing in order to avoid dating disappointments when they don't live up to your unfair expectations.

5. Play it cool

If you are lucky enough to have found someone you want to date, don't frighten them away! If they don't call you for a day or two, don't bombard them with calls and text messages asking why they haven't contacted you, just be patient. Nothing is more frightening to a date then the feeling that they are being stalked by someone who is incredibly clingy. It is hard to stay cool when you are eager to see someone again but find ways to distract yourself. Read a good book, go out with friends. Whatever you do, don't let your date think you can't live without them.

Dating disappointments are something to avoid as much as possible. Everyone makes mistakes, but learning from them is the key to having successful future relationships!

Published by Kyra Lennon - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment, Travel and Lifestyle

Kyra Lennon has been writing for most of her life. Alongside working on her first full length novel, Kyra has published online content with a focus on dating and relationships, entertainment and travel. A...  View profile

6 Comments

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  • Susan Slade12/24/2010

    Merry Christmas

  • Tiffany Bailey12/23/2010

    This is great advice!

  • James R. Coffey12/23/2010

    Just keep your expectations LOW! That way you'll either say, "Well that's just what I expected!" (No disappointment) or you'll be pleasantly surprised! (No disppointment!)

  • Jennie Lee Williams12/23/2010

    I love this article! Well done, and Merry Christmas!

  • Tiffany Booth12/23/2010

    Great work! Happy Holidays =0)

  • Tony Payne12/23/2010

    Great advice.

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