How to Avoid a Hateful Family Member

When a family member shows their true colors through hateful outbursts and unkind behavior, being around them is difficult to say the least. Forgiving can be easy, but forgetting is hard, especially when harsh, negative words resound in the mind. It is possible to avoid a hateful family member and still enjoy holidays, birthdays and other special occasions instead of walking on eggshells and fearing the worst. No one should have to feel uncomfortable, especially in their own home or the home of their parents.

I have dealt with this circumstance firsthand, and I have devised ways to avoid someone that I no longer want to interact with. I have forgiven them, but I will never forget what they said and the way in which they blurted out their true feelings. This is something they had wanted to do for a very long time, but they will never have that chance again. If I make the mistake of forgetting, I will be setting myself up for future abuse. Even if mental issues are to blame, no one should have to socialize under the same roof as a potentially hateful and emotionally abusive person in the name of family or for any other reason.

Surround Yourself with People that Care

It is important to surround yourself with people that are kind and caring, especially after being verbally or even physically attacked by a hateful family member. Not only will others help calm the situation, but they will also help the victim feel a little less hated. Words sting longer and harder than a whip or any other weapon, and they can be avoided.

When I was attacked by a hateful family member I wanted nothing more than to flee, but I stayed because I was surrounded by people that cared. I did not want to destroy their day any further. Although it was difficult to remain under the same roof as the person responsible for ruining the holiday, it made me a stronger person, but I will never put myself in that situation again.

Celebrate Holidays in Advance

Because of the behavior of a hateful family member this past Christmas, I will no longer traditionally celebrate the holiday in the home of my parents. One way to avoid a hateful family member is to celebrate holidays and other occasions elsewhere or at a different time. Friends and others that are able to get along with this person can do whatever they want, but it does not have to include you. Take a mini vacation with a friend or loved one, and start a new tradition that will not result in hatefulness or verbal abuse.

Being uncomfortable is certainly not my idea of fun, and I will not subject myself to any further outbursts from someone that cannot deal with their problems and issues in an intelligent and rational way. You do not have to put up with it either. Let your hateful family member stew in their misery, and avoid them whenever possible. They will have to take out their frustrations on someone else, and you will never again be accused of arrogance, rudeness or anything else. They will need to examine themselves and consider the possibility that whatever they detected and acted upon was a reflection of their past behavior. Avoidance will solve the problem, and hopefully they will find happiness in the life and situation they have created for themselves.