How to Balance Down Time and Activities for Your Child

No matter where you live, you want to give your child as many educational and entertaining opportunities as possible. In my area of Houston the opportunities for children are limited only by the amount of money you are willing to spend, and with so many opportunities both free and for cost, it is hard to limit your time away from home. How often has a parent caught his or her self saying, "I want them to have everything that I didn't have"? And in my case I want them to have the opportunity to do so many of the things I wished I could have done with my older children, but was unable to do to circumstances beyond my control. But is that really what's best for our children?

Just yesterday, my five-year-old daughter spent most of the morning asking me, "Where are we going to go today mommy?" It started as a general question, but after the answer was "nowhere, it is a stay at home day," it gained in intensity, and general whiny-ness. Of course her younger sister had to join in at some point with the "Where are we going to go today?" refrain and their demands and voices escalated.

This would not be the first time this has happened in our household. As a matter of fact it has happened quite often, usually on the one day a week that mommy sets aside as a stay at home day. We can do arts and crafts, paint, watch a movie, take our time to cook a real breakfast, lunch or dinner, play games and even wear pajamas all day if we want to. Sounds fun right? Not to my children, at least not for the first few hours which is spent in more "What are we going to do today?" refrains instead of deciding what fun we can have at home and simply enjoying those opportunities.

Yesterday after posting my frustration about this situation on Facebook and hoping that my own network of imagination mover's mommies may be able to give me a good idea about how to handle it I found that I am not alone. I found that other mothers who were home that day too were experiencing the same problem. Apparently "Where are we going to go today?" was a familiar song in many households.

As a parent this led me to wondering, "Are we doing too much? Are children becoming so demanding because they have too many opportunities? Have parents gone too far in our attempts to provide our children with the many opportunities that experts say that they need, from sports to learning?" Or do parents just need a better way to cope? Since when did our children start to feel a sense of entitlement that we are to provide them with countless forms of entertainment?

Let's face it; leaving the house with our children serves many purposes. Often they can socialize with other children, and we can too, with adults. It means doing an activity or attending an event that they may not experience at home. It keeps rooms clean in the house as you go enjoy the great outdoors. But with it leaving the house on a regular basis you also have many challenges; getting ready on time, packing snacks and drinks, sunscreen, and the pressure of arriving on time. Most importantly it seems that it also means creating a routine that your children come to expect.

Weekends are so rushed and our weeks are so full that as a parent I feel at least one day of "down time" without appointments or events is necessary for our family's well being. To be honest, I could use a second stay at home day. It gives me a chance to spend time with my children that is simple, easy and relaxed. When they grow up I am hoping that they will remember those lazy days at home making their own pancakes for breakfast as fondly as they do some of the wonderful opportunities they have been given.

How can parents handle the "Where are we going today?" syndrome? In our family the calendar is going to become more of a family affair. Each Sunday when the calendar is updated for the week my children will get to be involved in choosing those activities that are important to them. Alternate activities, including staying at home will be placed on the calendar. When doing our calendar time, reviewing the days of the week and months of the year the children will be reminded of what activity will be happening today. Each night will be a reminder of what to expect the next day. Sure we may have those unexpected invitations to go play at a friend's home or meet at a park or play area and we also may take advantage of them. With the daily review of our calendar as well as reinforcement of the necessity of time spent together hopefully my children and I can continue to enjoy the many play dates, activities and special events we love as well as appreciate the days of time simply spent together.

For related readings on parenting visit :
5 Positive Parenting Tips to Reduce Family Stress

How to Make Exercise Fun for Kids

I Would Never Let My Kid Do That!

Source:
Personal experience