How to Become a Kart Racing Pro

Competition breeds adrenaline, self esteem, bikini babes and the spirit of success. One the most determined and well groomed people can succeed in the sport of Go Kart racing. Are you such a person? Probably not, but look over these tips while you're here anyway.

Attitude.
Just like the unlucky kid who gets the bumper car that doesn't work, complaining will only make things worse. Keep excuses to an absolute minimum. Oh, you say your brakes are bad and you can't power slide? Your kart's engine just overheated and the impending fire is melting the frame and caused you to lose control of your bowels? Boo @$&%ing hoo!!!!!

Posture.
Kart racing is 2 parts skill, 3 parts determination, and 37 parts knowing how to sit like a champion. This isn't a Sunday drive to grandma's house with your loud mouth offspring acting up and having motion sickness in the back seat, this is serious business. You better be prepared to look like a winner. Don't slouch, don't lean to the side and drive with one hand on the wheel(unless out in front, wearing a cool pair of shades) and don't slow down for old ladies.

Yeah, everyone lapped by granny will get ridiculed for all eternity.

Money.
You won't be able to buy a victory in the kart racing would. You will however be able to trick out your kart with neat upgrades to make winning a bit easier. I suggest finding a guy who sells a snow plow style wedge, and have him install it on the front bumper for you.

Power Ups.
Most people forget to use objects that lay beside or on the track. Soda cans, spare tires, radioactive sludge, all of these things are there for a reason. If you aren't willing to throw banana peels at people on the track, you aren't ready to become a winner.

Respect,
If you ever come in contact with a man or woman who treats Kart racing like a life or death situation, keep your snide remarks to yourself. You should seek tutelage from these self made champions. At the very least, respect the attention to detail they have when it comes to attacking turns. Learn a few tricks from a Kart Samurai and you should be crushing scrubs in no time.