1 2

How Becoming a Mother Has Changed My Life

Heather Shockney
When you first see those two little lines on the home pregnancy test your mind tries to absorb the fact that you are going to be a mother. Whether this was planned or a surprise you are in for a big change. People will offer their advice and try to explain what it is like being a mother. While this might help to prepare you it will never totally make you aware of the changes to come.

The first time you look into your child's eyes you will understand what the words unconditional love truly mean. This is one of the first changes you will have becoming a mother. I have loved many before, but the love I felt when I held my daughter is something I could never explain. If you ask another mother they will know exactly how you felt.

Once you get your new little one home you will learn how being a mother will completely change every aspect of your life. I soon discovered that there was no longer any Me time. I now had someone depending on me for their every need .I also discovered I didn't care. I wanted to spend every moment of every day with my daughter .It took me so long to have her I didn't want to miss anything. Who would know that changing dirty diapers could be something I enjoyed. Here are a few more ways becoming a mother has changed my life.

1.Patience, Once you have a child you will discover how important it is to grasp the concept of being patient. Before becoming a mother you could jump up and run out the door anytime you felt like it. That isn't the case with children. You must plan accordingly. Pack the diaper bag with all the necessities you will need for the outing .It is surprising how much stuff you need to pack for a trip to the grocery store .Once the child is older you will be ready to walk out the door and they will still be lagging behind searching for a shoe or a toy they can't leave home without. Patience is definitely needed when you begin potty training. All those women that said they had their child potty trained by the age of one are lying. While I am sure a few actually accomplished this ,the majority did not. They had to clean the poo off the walls like the rest of us. Who would of guessed that playing in a dirty diaper is fun to a toddler .While you are scrubbing and disinfecting the walls keep your patience and remember this is just a stage and it will pass. You could always take a few pictures to use as blackmail in the teenage years. Patience is something you will need everyday after becoming a mother. Kids know this and soon learn how to bring you to the brink of an explosion.

2.Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, If you were the type that always had a spotless house you might need to learn to relax and let things go. If there are dirty dishes in the sink for awhile after dinner or even until the next morning so be it. Once you become a mother there are far to many other activities to do besides house work. Instead of worrying about having a show home go play with your children. They are only young for a short time and when they hit their teens they will not want to admit they even have parents, much less spend time with them. So what if the laundry is piling up past the dirty clothes hamper, as long as everyone has clean clothes let it go until another time. If you child decides to write on the walls with permanent markers don't fret, get a picture frame and proudly display the work of art. It can always be repainted down the road. Do not worry about someone dropping by unannounced. If they have children they'll completely understand, and if they don't maybe you don't want that type of friend. I always say "My house is not perfect,it's lived in". I was always amazed at the homes that had no toys out anywhere in sight. Once I became a mother it made me angry. Kids should be allowed to play with their toys.Once the children are grown up and out on their own you will have plenty of time to clean and keep a perfect house.

3.Stand up for Yourself, I was always an easygoing person. I didn't like to have any fights or confrontations. This was until I became a mother and learned that your child is depending on you to protect them and stand up for their rights. If anyone tried to do any harm to my child look out .It is amazing how strong of a person I could be if I needed to. I will never let someone harm my child or violate her rights. I would die to protect my daughter and save her from any hurt and suffering. I will teach my daughter to be strong and stand up for what's right. I will teach her to never let someone walk all over her or take advantage of her. I will teach her how to be a strong woman when it comes to dealing with men. I will teach my daughter that a man is suppose to be kind and loving, and never try to change her or control her. Since becoming a mother I have seen how strong I need to be and how to stand up for myself and others.

4.There is no Perfect Family, while you see all these families on TV that look so happy and perfect that is not real life. Families have disagreements. Kids misbehave at times. I always said I would have a child who listened to everything I said .One that didn't get into everything ,or touch breakables. They would know better .I Knew all about Time-Outs and how great they would work. Boy was I wrong.Once I became a mother I realized you can not predict the future. Each child is different and Time-Outs do not work for all situations. Kids will act up and embarrass you while you are out at the store. They will start screaming because you tell them No. Then when you try to correct them everyone around will stare at you like you are abusing the child. We have all heard "wait until I get you home " from our parents. I swore I would never use that. Again I was wrong.

5.You will use Expressions your Parents Used, we have all promised we would never turn into our parents. We would never say the crazy expressions our parents used. We have all heard them. Wait until your father gets home, When I get to three you are in big trouble Missy, Because I said so that's why,etc. My sister was visiting and I had to correct my daughter. My sister said I thought mom was here for a minute. I am sure we have all caught ourselves using phrases that our parents used.

6.Never Take Things for Granted,always value the wonderful experiences becoming a mother has given you.They can be taken away in a matter of seconds.I have learned this from becoming a mother and seeing how fast my daughter has grown and from my nephew .He was only on this earth for a short nine days.In that time he touched everyone that got the chance to meet him.This taught me the importance of appreciating everything I have been blessed with.No one can ever predict how long we will have to spend with the ones we love,and becoming a mother has made me more aware of this fact. I couldn't even imagine not having my daughter with me.So each night tell the people you love how much they mean to you and kiss and hug your children.While there will be days when you feel like you are going to explode from frustration , remember tomorrow is another day.Just enjoy the time you have to spend with your children ,and the time spent being a mother.

Before I became a mother I always pictured me as the June Cleaver type. You know with the exceptionally clean house, and great family dinners every night. I soon came to realize this was a goal I would not be able to accomplish. Families are not perfect. We eat out now and again. We leave the house untidy on occasion. These are not the things that make one a good mother. The time you spend with your child playing, talking, reading is what will matter most to them. They will not care how many hours you spent at work, or how big of a house you live in. They will not care if you spend two hours at the gym everyday .All they will care about is that you loved them, imperfections and all.

Published by Heather Shockney

Heather is the mom to a daughter with Autism, ADHD, ODD, Mood-D/O-NOS,obsessive compulsive tendencies, and sensory issues. We are a cyber-schooling family.She writes for a variety of online venues. If you ha...   View profile

  • Mothers are not perfect.We are learning as we go.
  • Becoming a mother will change your life in many wonderful ways.
  • Learning to have patience is very important when becoming a mother.
Kids are only young for a little while. Enjoy the time you can spend with them , and don't worry if the house isn't perfect.

11 Comments

Post a Comment
  • mol 6/25/2010

    whe i gave birth to my first child it was the happiest day of my life but now that she is one year and walking i get angry quickly and curse her

  • cassandra 1/30/2009

    I enjoyed reading this. It actually brought tears to my eyes. LoL Especially when you talked about your nephew :-( My daughter is 8 months old. :) This little essay or whatever you may call it is very true.

  • Rebecca L. Wire 12/15/2007

    Wonderful read - so true!

  • Linda M. McCloud 7/24/2007

    I can't wait until I can find out first hand what it feels like to be a mother. THanks for the article. I enjoyed it.

  • Lisa Riggs 7/18/2007

    Beautifully expressed Heather. I definitely have become a better person since having my daughters. Parenthood is an amazing journey that is such a blessing. Wonderful read, I enjoyed. Thank you!

  • Theresa Sylvester 4/10/2007

    Great article. I really enjoyed it.

  • Kassidy Emmerson 3/26/2007

    Great stuff! Thanks!

  • artist_writer 3/23/2007

    I agree with Rosa - you did that for me, too! Thank you for a great article!

  • Rosa Hayes 3/22/2007

    wow, I think that you narrowed my life with my children down to the spot. This was an awesome article, keep them coming.

  • Marissa Stanfield 3/1/2007

    true true. Love this article

Displaying Comments
Next »

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.