How Best to Help the Homeless
Money is hard earned, and in wanting to make the most of it, we try to not be frivolous. Yet, we live in a world where most everyone is out to get as much of our money as they can. The professionals set up temptations, using all the skills at their disposal - the science of marketing, using our weaknesses against us. Car sales people scheme, grocery store managers set up impulse buying displays at checkout registers, and panhandlers look extra pitiful right before they ask that question, "hey buddy, can I ask you a question?"
While everyone competes for our hard earned money, we must decide how best to spend it. But when confronted by a panhandler, we often forget about being frugal, as our hearts become conflicted with a complex dilemma. A fellow human being is in need. Even if his hard luck story isn't true, just to look at him we know he suffers from some ailment. He says he's hungry. Well, that could be true. Even addicts need to eat every once in a while. But we know he'll probably use what money we give him for something less than beneficial for him - bottle of mouthwash to drink, another crack rock to smoke. Deep down, we feel that regardless of our good intentions, the panhandler will not use the money we give him wisely. Although we do want to help him, we wonder what to do.
At first glance, the problems homeless people face may seem beyond our scope of understanding. certainly we cannot meet any of his, or her, more important needs in just 5 minutes of caring. We can put together care packages full of personal care items, such as is mentioned at thehomelessguy.blogspot.com. - travel size tooth brushes, deodorant, comb, clean pair of socks, etc., are things that many homeless people need on a daily basis yet often do without. And providing those things is a blessing to the homeless. But the homeless really need something more than just the chance to make it through the day.
Homelessness is sometimes referred to as a slow suicide. The drugs, alcohol, mental illness all take a toll, as the exposure to the elements, and the lack of privacy take a serious toll. People who die on the streets don't die of old age. What homeless people need most of all is a way off the streets. And I must tell you, the idea of a homeless person pulling himself up by the bootstraps is a myth. Homeless people don't have boot straps. Every homeless person who has successfully gotten off the streets has done so with a lot of help from people with stable lives.
In taking 5 minutes one day, perhaps 20 minutes another day, over many days wee can get to know a homeless person. Talk to him. Ask him how his day is going. Share with him our own life stories. Become his friend. Over time, we'd get to know him for who his is, and get to know his real needs. And it would be to those needs that we could focus our care for him. Just know that being a real friend fulfills his biggest needs - the need to be known, the need to belong, the need to be accepted. With these needs fulfill, along with our care and encouragement, our homeless friend will find the motivation to take the journey back out of homelessness.
Published by Billy Cole
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37 Comments
Post a Commentbest way to help the homeless is to tell them the truth. no mollycoddle , no phony praise. if a bum stink bad , let him know. if anyone does wrong , let every budy know. shame work wonders.didya KNOW your son's band skyline drive played at limelight in nashville on father's day last sunday? weren't you even invited? if you weren;t even told, then you wre shunned and snubbed by your own family. that,s not rite, that,s just plain cruel. that,s agaist the commandment honor your father. so if shunning= abuse , ya STILL being abused by your family if you were kept in the dark. no mystery why yer a failure. its cuz no one loves you. your blog is a real eye opening tearjerker soap opera.
Well, crass language, public urination, and more, can be often found performed by people with homes as by people without homes. In Nashville we have the profession football team, the Titans. And at the tailgate parties before and after the games you will find much of the same behavior. We also have a lot of music venues in a tourist area known honkie tonks, and you'll find much of that same behavior by people there who happen to have homes. We have a lot of colleges and universities in Nashville, like Vanderbilt, and TSU. Just what do you think a lot of those students do when not in class?
Homelessness always tugs at our heartstrings. In my community the homeless sleep at the library, outside on the concrete in their sleeping bags and rolls. It's heartbreaking, but they are shelters for them that they refuse to use. That's because there are rules there about alcohol and drug use, so they decline to use the service. I'm glad our city doesn't harrass them, but many in the community now refuse to take their children to the library because of crass language, public urination, and more. What's a community to do abou that?
Excellent article! It is down-to-earth, serious and realistic.
Well i don't believe anybody is ever in that situation as 'an easy way out'. It took me 8 years to get out of that situation... i just never asked for handouts and i never would have. i always did what i could to find ways to earn money, and you would have never known i was homeless. i would work at Ponderosa and hand over my entire paycheck to someone who let me sleep on their couch for the night.
Hey Kevin....Congratulations on making the front page!
Nice article. I used to work with homeless families and have experienced homelessness myself during my childhood. The small things like providing the toiletries and lending an ear can be the most important ways to help a person turn life around when it is going in the wrong direction. Great observations.
Good article and good suggestions. Everyone needs a friend, some much more than others. Thanks for your insight.
Great article. We also need to work toward getting local government to realize the needs of the homeless community. Just reported on the news is the lack of beds in shelters. Not only do people need to think on the micro level as you suggest, but also on the macro level.
One additional comment: Someone earlier commented that we are the richest country, but I don't view us as such. We have such a problem with debt, both on a personal level, and as a country. We have a lot of resources, but we have SO much debt that I wouldn't call us the wealthiest country by any means.