How to Be a Better Advice Giver

Are you the one who people come to and kneel at your feet to ask for your wisdom? Maybe you're a relationship guru who always knows what to say when your friend just had a nasty break up. You might possibly be a old dude with a trippy flowing white beard who somehow has WiFi on top of your mountain... if you are, you ought to be telling people the meaning of life, jeez. But if your just a regular person like the rest of us, then follow these simple principles and maybe one day you can be the wise old guy on the mountain. Don't worry; that's optional.

Take note of the person's Emotional State.

No matter what you say, first look at the emotional state of the person. If the person is like an ogre, you probably don't want to say aggravating things, even if they happen to be the truth. Now obviously this only applies in a situation where your face-to-face, and whatever happened was more serious than usual. But remember that how you say something is just as important as what you say. Be considerate.

Empathize.

Giving advice always requires you to make that little journey in your mind into the shoes of your "patient". How can you possibly give decent advice without having some kind of understanding of what they're experiencing? If you can somehow relate what they are telling you about to something in your own life experience, then its all the better for you.

Realize your Responsibility.

If your going to give someone advice, then you must understand that this person might possibly act on what your telling them. There are consequences for every action, good or bad. This puts some responsibility on your shoulders. First ask yourself, would you yourself do what you're telling your patient to do? If not, then it's probably not the best advice to give.

Predict the Future.

Go through the scenario in your mind; predict the effects of your advice if the patient followed through. If you told a college kid who was having trouble at his college to transfer schools, what would the lasting effects of that be? Everything has its pros and cons; the main goal of giving advice is that in the end, the long term effects are for the better.

Be kind, but be Firm.

Of course, when your giving advice to someone, it should always be in a kind manner. However, if you aren't firm when giving your advice, it might not be taken seriously. To tell you the truth, some people need a kick in the rear to solve their problem instead of a few kind words that are forgotten the next day. Not literally though, don't go kicking anyone now. In all seriousness, if the subject of your advice is something that isn't a minor issue, such as depression, major life changes, or even how to deal with major events, then this is even more important. Sometimes sugarcoating the truth does more of a disservice than a kindness.

Know the boundaries of your Advice-Giving powers

This isn't really a tip; more of a reminder. You can't help everyone with every single problem. Some people's issues are serious enough that they need a therapist or a medical professional. If you know in your gut that whatever a person is asking you advice about is too big for you to handle, then don't try to give them some advice out of guilt or pride. Refer them to that therapist, psychologist, doctor; whatever is appropriate for the situation. There are times when all you can do is bring in a third-party and hope for the best.

So try out these things the next time someone asks you for advice. Not only will be the super duper advice man/woman, but these things also make you a better person overall. Be sure to start your own advice show one day after you become famous, because I want some front row seats. But remember that it's a honor when someone asks you for advice; a honor, but a responsibility. Your intelligent words can change someone's life one day.