How to Be a Better Stay at Home Mom: Revisiting the 1950's

Some women choose to stay home and take care of their children, even if only for the first few years. This is a bigger deal for our generation, because women not only have the right to work, they are expected to work.

Do whatever works for you in your relationship!

These guidelines are to display that there should be no blurry lines as to who should do what. If you choose to stay at home and stick him with all the bills, expect problems! These guidelines are to help you avoid those problems and keep your relationship a strong, healthy partnership.

How would you feel if you were the only one working, and your spouse or significant other stayed home everyday, with no intention of finding a job? All the bills are piling up; and especially with a child it seems as though there are even more bills. Your entire pay check goes to bills, and you get no help at all covering them. There is never any money left to enjoy as a reward for all your efforts.

How would that make you feel?

It may go unspoken, but with the financial standards raised to require a double income in order for survival, the decision for the woman to not work can leave a lot of stress on the man.

Know Your Role!

If you find any offense at all to this title, then you should avoid the decision to be a stay at home anything! Revisit the earlier example and add these following elements.

Although you don't have any help with the bills, you come home everyday to a clean house and a nice, hot, home cooked dinner. Afterwards, you are given a beer (or cup of coffee) and a half hour to an hour to unwind and relax in front of the TV.

You never have to worry about the paperwork involved with paying bills, or any other unpleasant house related chore. Your spouse or significant other takes care of all that for you as well.

Now how would that make you feel?

In nature, would a lioness ever act offended if you were to tell her that hunting is her role? Humans have become so mixed up about what is right and what is not, that we can easily blur the lines. It is still common for women to choose to stay home, but even half of those will disagree with the idea of 'putting your husband on a pedestal.'.

Of course, even if you are a stay at home mom, you may know how busy this life style can be. You may scoff at the idea of 'having dinner waiting for your man', or giving him time to relax without being disturbed. You may even insist that he only works 40 hours a week, and that your schedule is non ending so if anyone deserves a break it is you.

Thinking like that will only cause problems in a relationship or marriage. That's just the way it is. In all reality, once you find yourself giving that extra 150%, you will realize that it feels more natural than you ever thought possible. (Hmmm....)

Never 'brag' about how 'hard you work' or get into a pissing contest over who does more. However, if your husband or significant other for any reason feels as though you don't do enough, it is okay to list what your day is like, describe all your duties, and then ask them if they would like to try it for a day on the weekend while you relax.

It is important to 'fluff his feathers.' Compliment him regularly for being a great provider, a hard worker. While you are positioning yourself in a comfortable, natural role... he may be dissatisfied with being forced into the stressful position of sole income provider for a family.

Worded correctly, he can easily find the same 'right' feeling about this natural role as 'breadwinner'... and all it takes is your sincere appreciation. At the same time as helping him feel his role is fulfilled, it is always part of your role to lift spirits around you.