How to Have a 'Big' Wedding on a Tiny Budget: Make a Splash Without a Lot of Cash

Being strapped for cash doesn't have to mean a less-than-perfect wedding or, worse still, no wedding at all. I have attended weddings at which it was obvious that no expense was spared. I have also attended weddings in which the happy couple barely had two dimes to rub together, yet the wedding was just as beautiful and glamorous as its expensive counterparts. Perhaps these tips from a former wedding planner will start you on the path to planning your dream wedding.

It doesn't cost anything to set a date. This is your starting point. Without a date, you won't be able to book a location, a minister, a photographer, etc. Everyone who will be involved in creating your perfect wedding will need your date up front. Even if the date is tentative and subject to change, you will at least be able to get some idea of what and whom will be available when.

Decide on attendants--another freebie. In the beginning, these are actually 'potential' attendants because even your best friend in the world may have a conflict that is impossible to change. In that case, you will need to decide whether to change the date or leave out any attendants who cannot be available for your chosen date. Although this scenario may not be a common one, it is a possibility. For this reason, it is important to set the date early and decide on attendants as soon as possible so that they can be asked to participate in time to clear their calendars.

Find a venue.

**Summer weddings are wonderful when done outside and, for the cost of a tent rental, you can be prepared in the event of rain. A park with a shelter offers the same benefits.

**In some parts of the country, open-air chapels can be rented relatively inexpensively.

**Historic homes and buildings may sometimes be used for weddings.

**Spend some time thinking about all the places in your area which would be a lovely site for a wedding. Call some of these locations and talk with the owner or manager of the property. If it is not a place that is normally used for weddings, they may be happy for you to use it free of charge or for a small fee or donation.

**If you prefer a church wedding, but are having to pay a fee for both the auditorium and the reception hall, consider using only the auditorium and holding the reception at a different (preferably free) location. I recently attended a wedding in which the ceremony was held at a church while the reception was held at a local dance studio (offered free of charge because the bride was a former student).

**Another couple I know traveled five hours away with their families to be married on a beach, where the happy couple also stayed for the honeymoon. After returning home, they held a reception/party for all those who would have been invited guests had the wedding been held in their hometown.

**If a friend or family member has a home that would make a great wedding and/or reception site, consider asking if they would allow you to hold your wedding there. Just make sure the home is large enough to accommodate guests comfortably.

**Other options are inns, bed and breakfasts, restaurants, hotels, camps, community clubhouses, and wedding chapels.

**Colleges and universities have beautifully landscaped grounds and often have buildings, chapels, or courtyards that would make a great location for a wedding.

**Many towns and cities now have locations that are operated specifically as special events venues. Some can be pricey, but others are quite reasonable.

** A country home or farm would be fun for a casual wedding, especially in the spring or summer.

Say 'Yes' to the Dress--but don't break the bank. There are so many ways now to obtain a beautiful wedding gown, no bride should be without a stunning dress on her wedding day.

**One can easily find on-line a wide range of dresses and gowns under $300.00. Just be very careful when purchasing on-line. Make sure there is the ability to return or exchange a dress that does not work at all. Do a lot of research and ask a lot of questions. You will also want to have your exact measurements when buying sight-unseen and be prepared for the possibility that alterations may be necessary.

**Many bridal shops also have racks of discounted dresses or offer deep discounts at certain times of the year. Many shops now rent gowns, also. If the thought of a rented dress isn't at first appealing, consider the fact that most brides now prefer to buy a gown of their own choosing so that the likelihood of passing the dress down to a daughter is relatively small. Also, you will be relieved of having to clean and store the gown.

**For an absolutely free dress that also has the added benefit of sentimental value, think about borrowing from a friend or family member. If you have a sister, cousin, or close friend who is married. she may be thrilled that you would want to wear her gown. Although, as stated before, many women do not now pass gowns down to daughters, your own mother may still have her wedding dress. This would be the most special shared gown of all.

**If there is no one who can loan you a gown and you are able to spend a small amount, look in antique, thrift, and consignment shops. For just pennies on the dollar, you may find the dress that dreams are made of. Also consider something that is not a traditional wedding gown. For a small daytime wedding, a full Cinderella-type skirt paired with a soft beaded sweater would be pretty. Look for pieces in white, ivory, or pale pink.

**Many prom or other semi-formal dresses will work for a small or very simple wedding. Just make sure the dress is elegant and timeless. You don't want to look like a 1980s prom queen.

**If you can sew even a little, you can make a skirt by gathering several yards of tulle or netting into an elastic waistband and covering the waist with a wide ribbon sash. Pair this with a beautiful dressy sweater as described above or with a satin or sheer blouse. Complete the outfit with satin ballet slippers and patterned stockings, simple jewelry, and a beaded headband or veil. If your hair is short to medium length or if you plan to wear it up, you might wrap a length of the same net fabric around your head for a headband, tie it in the back, and let the ends flow down the back for a veil that falls from the nape of the neck instead of from the top of the head. If your hair is up and the knot is exposed, the knot can be covered with a jeweled brooch or hair clip.

A rose by any other name. . .

**My favorite flower trick is to mix fresh flowers with silk ones. While fresh flowers are more prized by brides and are the expected norm, they can be more expensive then silk. By using silk flowers for the 'base' of your bouquets and arrangements, you can make them yourself (working on them as time allows). On the big day, simply add a few of the most gorgeous fresh flowers the budget will buy and add them to the top and outer edges of the bouquets. Guests will only see the fresh ones and will not even notice the artificial ones beneath. This idea is especially kind to the budget if you can buy the silk ones on sale. Even if you purchase a fresh bouquet from a florist, you should use a small artificial bouquet for the "tossing" bouquet if you plan to use a separate one for this purpose.

**For a completely free bouquet, you may be able to use wildflowers in the spring or summer or a large, elaborate arrangement of greenery with trailing ivy.

**If you know someone who is an avid gardener and has plenty blooms on hand, they may be willing to donate some flowers or sell them inexpensively.

**An especially elegant option for the bridal bouquet is just a few long stems of lilies or roses wrapped in wide ribbon. If desired, you can add greenery and twig branches.

** To decorate the ceremony and reception sites, ask friends and relatives to loan hanging and potted plants, especially ferns and ivy.

**If you are having a church wedding, ask about decorative items that the church may have on hand for loan or rental. Many churches have plants, plant stands, decorative columns, and candelabra available for weddings and other functions.

**For a beach or lakeside wedding, use tiki torches decorated with flowers and ribbon or netting in your chosen colors. If the day is windy, you may not be able to light them, but they will still add a lot of atmosphere, especially with long ribbons blowing in the breeze.

Capture the memories.

The one thing you will want to do right is your wedding photography. Many young couples on a tight budget do not take this part of a wedding seriously and live to regret it. You can never go back and capture the memories of this day. You only have one chance to get beautiful photographs of your wedding day. Having said that, there are a few things you can do to cut costs.

**Begin by calling several photographers to compare prices. When you have settled on three or four, go to their studios and look at samples of their work. This is the only way to know exactly what you are paying for and what you will be getting should you hire that person. When you find the photographer who is your favorite, make an appointment to sit down with them and discuss your wedding. When you talk with the photographer, be prepared to be pressured into buying the most expensive package. Anyone who sells portrait packages is trained to pull out all the sentimental and emotional stops. They will say almost anything to sell you the package of their dreams. (It's their dream because they make a big commission.) Still, you do want to have the pictures that will mean the most to you in the long run. Try to choose a medium-priced package that will give you the most for your money. Tell the photographer or their representative what you can spend and that you cannot go over that amount.

**If a professional photographer is completely out of the question, ask friends and family if they know someone who is very, very good with a camera and has the camera to back up their expertise. As with the professional outfits, try to look at this person's work to make sure you will be satisfied with what they are able to do. When working with an amateur, make a list of the photographs you will want and then tell the photographer to capture plenty of candid shots, too. You will want to have a written agreement stating fees, the number and type of photographs purchased, how proofs will be delivered (prints or CD), dates and times, and whether you will be required to purchase all photos printed regardless of your level of satisfaction. These guidelines also apply to video.

**Another idea is to get all dressed up in your wedding finery and have a portrait package done at a department store photography studio. These can be purchased for as little as $20.00 at Wal-Mart and about $50.00 to $100.00 at Sears and J.C. Penney. One of the better studios, such as Olin Mills or Glamour Shots, will offer a better quality portrait, but will also be more expensive. If you will not be using a photographer at the wedding, you may want to have at least one portrait made of you in your gown and purchase this picture in a size of at least 8x10 or as large as your budget allows. If you can only buy an 8x10 portrait, you can later have it matted and framed to any size you choose to give it more substance and presence when hanging on a wall or over a mantel.

**Last, but not least, if no photographer is available who fits your budget, purchase several disposable cameras. Ask a friend to pass them out among the guests with the explanation to take a couple of snapshots and pass the camera on to another guest, who will do the same. Your guests will get a kick out of this and you will get some unique pictures. This is also a fun thing to do at a reception even if you have a professional photographer. Tell the person passing out cameras to request that they be used only by adults and teens so that no frames are wasted.

**You will probably have friends and family who will be taking pictures with their own personal cameras and who would love to make copies to give to you later. **Many ministers do not want flash photography during the ceremony (it is a solemn occasion, after all), so be sure your guests are made aware if this is the case.

Let them eat cake!

**Are you having a small wedding, but would love to have a massive cake? Take a tip from the cake experts. Have the bakery bake only the top two or three tiers of a cake, then ask them to create the bottom layers from Styrofoam and frost the Styrofoam layers to match the real cake. When stacked, layered, and frosted, you cannot tell where one stops and the other starts. (Be sure to find out where the real cake does stop!)

**Have a friend who likes to bake make the cake for you. Again, you can use the half cake/half Styrofoam method if you want a larger cake than is actually needed. If a homemade cake does not appeal to you, remember that a cake does not have to have the tons of icing curlicues and roses that we see on typical wedding cakes. A cake with plain white frosting and a bouquet of flowers on top can be just as beautiful as something more elaborate. Make a list of all the ways you could decorate a cake without the piped-on frosting that is so difficult to do well. Consider used rolled frosting, which is available prepackaged at grocery stores, kitchen stores, craft and hobby stores, and in the craft and wedding section of most Wal-marts.

**Have a bakery make the cake of your dreams--but only a small one to use for the official cake-cutting. Serve the guests cake squares, mini-cupcakes, and petits fours which friends and family have made for you. Served on tiered cake stands and silver trays, they will look elegant and will be remembered by guests as different and fun. All cakes may be iced and decorated to look the same or very similar or you can purposely have a variety of colors and designs.

**A similar idea to the one above--if you have some good cooks in the family, ask each of them to bake a round 2- or 3-layer cake for your wedding, making sure that each person makes a different kind of cake. Display the cakes together with a different person available to cut and serve each cake--perhaps close friends who are not in the wedding party or the cooks themselves. Provide all cake servers with matching chef's aprons so that they have a uniform look. For the official cake-cutting, the bride and groom could cut and sample each of the cakes or buy a small cake from a bakery from this purpose.

Food For Thought

You don't have to hire an expensive caterer to have wonderful food at your wedding. Just as with the cake, you probably have friends or family who are willing and able to help provide food. The important thing is to make it special for you and your new spouse. Choose foods you love and would like to share with loved ones and friends. At an outdoor casual wedding, hot dogs on the grill would be completely appropriate and welcome. For something more traditional and elegant, consider quiche and fresh fruit. These could even be used for a light sit-down meal if the wedding is held during the day. Foods that are unique to your area of the country will make a memorable statement. You will not want to serve a lot of sweets because you want your guests to look forward to the cutting of the cake with anticipation.

The most important thing about planning a wedding is to have fun. Don't let the planning stress you out; instead look forward with anticipation to your wedding day knowing that it will be beautiful and fun!