How to Make a Bill O'Reilly Halloween Costume

Like when preparing a Simon Cowell Halloween costume, the main thing you need to keep in mind is that a Bill O'Reilly Halloween costume has very little to do with how much you look like Bill O'Reilly. Hell, I'm a chick and I'm positive I could pull off the look!

Like with other tutorials, I would suggest that the first thing you need to do is copy Bill's style from the very base level. He is a political pundit; he's not going to wear jeans. He's going to wear a suit. His personal tastes seem to coincide with the navy blue. After picking out your run-of-the-mill white button-up shirt, pick a tie that's a bit more colorful, but something that's not too flashy. He's not Kevin Jonas; he's not going to have that fashion flair. He's a Republican! (Or a "traditionalist," whatever the hell that is.)

To concentrate on the physical aspects, analyze his look. He's balding. He has a big nose. Be creative when copying these elements, and perhaps save some dough. Instead of using a professionally-made bald cap, use the top half of a whoopee cushion; instead of buying a fake nose, just mold one out of silly putty.

But what's going to take this costume over the edge and straight into Awesomeville is whether or not you can pick up any of Bill's quirks. Mr. O'Reilly's manner of speaking is very precise and with a bit of superiority that's hard to fake. Watch a few episodes of the O'Reilly Factor, watch some of his interviews, and, if you have time, read some of his books. Immersing yourself into his ideological fantasy world may seem a bit daunting, but do you want to win first place at the local elementary school costume contest or not?

Despite the fact that our nation seems more concerned with politics than ever (or maybe that's not true), I still don't know if your average joe off of the street would recognize your Bill O'Reilly costume. To really take this to the next level may be something of a lost art form - Prop comedy.

Carry a desk made of cardboard around with you or quote his infamous YouTube rant if you must, just be sure to make the association click in people's mind because otherwise you're just going to amuse yourself, and there's no way you could possibly be happy unless you earn the acknowledgment and adoration of other people, right?

(If you answered yes, you've learned the ways of Bill well, young one.)

Happy Halloween! And be sure to watch bad movies and critique them or listen to obscure novelty songs!