How to Use Body Language to Get What You Want in Business

You say more than you know without even thinking about it. What you say is actually interpreted three ways: what you say, how you say it, and your body language. Body language accounts for about 90% of the message you are sending, and a first impression is made in the first 10 seconds. This makes nonverbal communication extremely important.

In business, you can learn to use body language to your advantage. Understanding what messages you are sending and learning to read the messages sent back to you can change the whole dynamic of a business relationship. It is important to note, however, that body language is complex, and some gestures can have multiple meanings. Learning just a few aspects of nonverbal communication can take you a long way in developing successful business relationships.

POSTURE

The way you stand speaks volumes about you. Slouching can indicate low self-esteem and unease. Standing straight, with your body weight balanced on easy leg projects a positive message. It shows that you are confident and interested. However, some people tend to tense up when standing straight. Be sure that you are not holding tension in your muscles, clenching your jaw, lock your joints, or stand "at attention." This can give the impression that you are nervous and anxious. It's ok to be nervous, you just don't want to show it.

Your arms should be at your sides and relaxed. Keep your hands out of your pockets. This tells people that you are hiding something. Avoid clenching your fists, which shows aggression and tension. Your hands should be open, with your palms visible. This signifies that you are trustworthy, a valuable trait in business people.

Also, avoid crossing your arms or folding them across your chest. This may be a comfortable position for you, but it tells your listener that you are bored with them and you are closed off. It can also signal that you are not in agreement with them.

EYE CONTACT

Making direct eye contact upon first meeting someone is crucial for a good impression. This is another sign of confidence, and can also show honesty. You should maintain eye contact at least 50-60% of the time. However, there is too much of a good thing. Don't glare at them. Continually staring at a person will tend to make them uncomfortable, and it is often mistaken for aggression. It can also make them think you are just weird.

When not making direct eye contact, avoid looking down or having your eyes shift from side to side. Looking down shows insecurity, while shifty eyes indicate nervousness and dishonesty. Looking left is believed to show honesty, while looking right shows dishonesty.

Blinking is another aspect of eye contact to consider. Often, people blink frequently when they are nervous, anxious, or lying. Make a conscious effort to slow down your blinking in stressful situations. Since this is an action we generally aren't aware that we do, it may be helpful to practice this in advance when preparing for a meeting or event.

HANDSHAKES

This is a common custom in the United States. The saying is very true - you can learn a lot about someone form their handshake. It is a decent indicator of what type of person you are dealing with. A good handshake should be firm, and somewhat equal to the pressure the other person is giving, to indicate equality. A crushing handshake shows that you are trying to dominate. A "dead fish" handshake using a limp, clammy hand shows that you are insecure. Try to find an even medium.

**Some people naturally have a problem with sweaty palms, whether they are nervous or not. If you have this problem, try using antiperspirant creams or sprays to help control the dampness. Just be sure they are the invisible kind or you may leave a lasting impression for the wrong reasons.

GESTURES

Gestures, such as waving or nodding, can mean different things in different cultures. If you are dealing with clients or associates from other countries, be sure to do your research before using common American gestures. Pointing, for example, is considered rude in the Middle and Far East. Giving the "OK" sign is obscene in Germany.

If your clients or business associates are strictly domestic, there is less worry of offending with common gestures. However, avoid using informal or negative gestures. Informal gestures like the "peace" sign or "OK" sign are not truly professional. Among equal peers, these gestures are fine. Negative gestures, like pointing directly at a person, should not be used. This can give a negative connotation and signal a defensive stance from the other person.

HAND MOVEMENTS

Hand movements are good for emphasis. Excessive hand movements, on the other hand, are a dead give-away for nervousness. Try to keep your hands relaxed, and use them to accentuate what you are saying, not dominate.

Touching your face or self-grooming is also taboo. If you have an itch on your nose, by all means scratch. But say "excuse me" for doing so. Touching your hair, face, neck or ears excessively all signal nervousness, so do your best to avoid these.

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

The amount of space you leave between you and the other person sends a message as well. Get too close, and you are seen as rude and push. Too far away, and you can seem insecure. This amount of space is different for everyone, and can differ from culture to culture.

Learn to read the other person's body language for signals on what they are comfortable with. If the person pulls or looks away or folds his arms, you may be too close. If you are too far away, they may be stepping in toward you.

FINE TUNING YOUR BODY LANGUAGE

Each person's body language evolves over years. Most of us don't realize some of the mannerisms that we have developed, or what messages they send. It is important thay you become aware of these signals. When preparing for an interview or presentation, be sure to watch yourself in a mirror or tape yourself. It may be helpful to have a friend or peer watch and give you feedback, as well. Observe your body language. How does it look to your audience? what impression would you get from a person making these gestures?

Teleivision is a great tool to observe body language in action. Watching the news, live TV programs, or even the Weather Channel are all interesting ways to pick up on subtle aspects of nonverbal communication. Observing people in action will help you see where you can improve your own body language.

Another important point to mention is that most people can generally tell when you mouth is saying one thing but your body says another. It is instinct. You could say, "I've prepared some exciting items for our presentation this morning," when your body is really saying, "I slapped some stuff together last night. I hope I can pull this off." Don't be fooled; most people can read the difference.