How to Bond with an Oppositionally Defiant Teen

Oppositional defiant teens often question authority, excessively argue with adults, have temper tantrums and outbursts of anger, they refuse to comply with requests and rules, and often have a spiteful attitude.

Considering all of these behaviors it's no wonder why bonding with this type of teen is challenging but it is possible.

Here are ways that parents can bond with their oppositionally defiant teen.

Attention- Children of any age need the individual attention of their parents; especially if they have other siblings. Teens with oppositional defiant disorder do get a lot of attention but it isn't positive attention that they receive. Parents have to consistently discipline them for their inappropriate and disrespectful behavior which leaves the teen and parent feeling frustrated and angry.

Although poor behavior should definitely be addressed, parents should also spend time with their teen in a positive setting at least once a week. By doing this parents will show their teen that they are cared for regardless of their behavioral issues.

Activities- Every person has some sort of talent; whether it's athleticism, artistry, or music, every child is good at something.

Parents should find out what that talent is in their teen and use it as a means to develop a bond. For example; if their teen is good at art parents can take them to an art museum or if they are into sports parents can take them to a professional ball game. Whatever interests their child, parents should be a willing participant; doing so will show the teen that they are important.

Counseling- Some matters are too difficult to address by themselves and if this is the case, families should seek counseling.

Counselors will help parents and their teens communicate in an effective and positive way. They'll teach families how to cope during times of pressure and give them practical tools to use to problem solve. Seeking out the help of a counselor will not only help patch up existing family issues it will also show families how to prevent further problems.

No matter what age, type, or personality a child has they all need to feel valued. They need to understand that they are loved regardless of the issues surrounding the family.

Although this can be difficult parents and families can use this as a guide to help them create and sustain a closer bond with their oppositionally defiant teen.

Source

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry