How to Boost Your Metabolism

Most people's metabolisms start out great; it's the sedentary lifestyle we have created in America which slows it down. Now I'm usually a great proponent of individual responsibility in your life, but in the case of obesity, I absolutely blame the surrounding environment.

Example: when was the last time you saw a fat wild cat? Yet Youtube is chock full of videos with fat home cats who are fat because the families that raise them are fat.

You can lose weight temporarily by following any sham diet you see on TV. Be warned; it's coming right back.

You can lose weight permanently by boosting your metabolism, and that requires lifestyle changes.

That means you might have to lose a few friends.

But let's get to the easy stuff first -- the medical changes. And they are --

1. Eat natural. The first step to boost your metabolism is to eat naturally. Your body needs fats and oils and carbs, just not the hydrogenized fats and oils and carbs in the Twinkie rolls. Believe it or not, there are actually fats and oils and carbs which help you lose weight, and they are all in natural foods. You don't have to go find some specific diet. Just eat naturally.

2. Find alternative ways to eat yucky stuff. I know no one likes vegetables, so get a Magic Bullet (special blender) and make veggie/fruit smoothies. They're the best! The fruits totally drown out the taste of the vegetables. If you want recipes, just look on the side of the Odwalla superfruit jugs they sell at the supermarket. You can do that same thing!

3. Eat often. You didn't think I was going to say that, did you? Yes, you need to eat often! Slow metabolism happens because people try to starve themselves on some wacky diet and then gorge. Well, all that does is put your body into survival mode, where it holds onto everything you give it. 3 meals, 3 snacks. Snacks must be healthy, though. No Twinkies.

4. Exercise. The way to exercise is cardio before you eat, weight training after. Cardio burns calories, so you want to burn the fat you already have. Weight training requires protein and carbs to build muscle, so do that after to eat. The fat will then be incinerated by your newly formed muscles. It's also good to use a workout routine of fast, slow. Fast, slow. For instance, on the treadmill, 1 minute sprint, 15 minute cooldown walk. 1 minute sprint, 15 minute cooldown.

5. Get away from people who would take you away from this lifestyle! That's the most important thing. If you get around fat people, you're going to be fat, because they will make you. We are social animals. We need each other, so don't think you can fight peer pressure. Why do you need to fight them anyway? You've got to pick the right outfit for that date tonight! Remember, that hottie you met at the gym? The gym that none of these fat, perpetually single people go to? Good luck!