How to Boost Your Preteen's Self-Esteem

Preteens like to think that they are adults even though we all know that they aren't and they still need us. Preteens may be getting more mature, physically, but they aren't quite there mentally. They still need our attention, love and support during this important period in their lives. This is the time when a preteen's self-esteem can start to wane. They need constant reassurances and directions. Here are a few tips on how to boost your preteen's self-esteem.

Pay Attention- Sometimes we get so busy that we don't pay full attention to everything that our children say and do. It is very important that we pay attention to our preteen when they are speaking to us. While we may think a tale about the kids in class is just another tale about the kids in class, to your preteen it was an important part of their day and they want to share it with you. You should try to set what you are doing aside for the few minutes that it takes your preteen to tell you what they want to tell you and it doesn't matter how unimportant you think it it. Pay close attention and listen to your preteen when they speak to you.

Let Them Make Choices- It is hard to turn over control to your preteen, but it is important for your preteen's self-esteem that you allow them to make some of their own choices. Letting them make their own choices shows your preteen that you trust them to make good choices about themselves and the world around them. All of their choices will not be the best decisions or be what you would have chosen for them, but you have to allow them the freedom to learn from their choices.

Let Them Make Mistakes- With responsibility to make their own choices, come the chance that your preteen will make mistakes in their decisions. Everyone makes mistakes and your preteen will be no different. We all must be allowed to make mistakes in our lives in order to learn from them. Assure your preteen that mistakes happen, help them understand the learning experience behind mistakes, teach them that they should always be responsible for their own mistakes and then allow them to move on from their mistakes. Making mistakes isn't always a bad thing, it's a learning experience.

Celebrate Their Accomplishments- Your preteen comes home excited from school and happily announces that he/she is the top student in her class for the amount of books they have read during the school year. What do you do? Congratulate them and then ask them to clean their room? No. When your preteen is excited about something that they have accomplished your first response should be to share in their excitement. Your preteen has come straight to you to share their great news and they would be very disappointed if you weren't as excited as they are. You should happily celebrate all of the positives in your preteen's life. That could be anything from winning a prize to simply celebrating a good hair day. Your preteen's self-esteem will soar when they see that you are excited and happy for them in their accomplishments.

Encourage Them- Any child needs their parents to encourage them, preteens are no different. Encouragement is an important aspect to raising children of all ages. Many preteens don't have the confidence in themselves when making choices, so a parent's encouragement helps them in confirming their own feelings about decisions they are trying to make. Just remember that if your preteen doesn't want to do something, all of the encouragement in the world will not make a difference. Encourage, but don't force your opinion on them too strongly or they will pull away.

Have Rules- Preteens may be older and think that they should be allowed more independence but they still need rules. Rules are important in order for your preteen to know what's they can and can not do. You should always know where your preteen is. They should have curfews and chores. They are still children and they still need consistency and rules to follow.

Compliment and Praise- Your preteen needs to hear that you approve of the things that they are doing in their life. Always compliment the positive things that they do. Praise the A+ that you daughter brought home from school, you know she studied hard for it. Compliment your son on the model airplane that he worked so hard to put together. He's so proud of his handiwork and you should be too. All children should be able to feel that their parents are proud of them.

Finding ways to boost your preteen's self-esteem will pay off in the end with a confident and self-sufficient adult in the, not so distant, future. Our children grow up so fast that sometimes we forget that they need us just as much now as they did when they were younger, even if they won't admit it. Preteens still need your help, love, support and knowledge to get them through their upcoming teen years.