How to Care for Your Dead Parrot

The death of any pet is the saddest thing ever to happen to a family. The grief is terrible and long lasting. You are depressed and lonely and you feel as if you can't live without your precious bird. Who says that you have to? Save on funeral expenses by keeping and caring for it after it dies.

Here are 9 ways you can do this post-mortem and still care for your beloved pet:

1.Stuff your dead parrot-
Make an incision down the middle of its belly and take out the guts. Feed the now empty belly with sawdust or its own seeds. Sew the belly together again and then you have old Polly back good as new. You can prop him or her up on the mantle above your fireplace or you can nail its claw onto its own swing again. Now, it's on its swing again happy as new as if it had never died.

2. Comb your dead parrot feathers daily-
Comb out its tattered falling molting feathers slowly letting the old feathers fall from the rotting body. Collect it from the bottom of the cage when you are done.

3.Give your dead parrot a friend -
Place a recording of a female's bird's squawk beside the cage and turn it on when it gets lonely. You know its lonely when it just sits on the perch with a blank stare. A female parrot loud squawks would do nicely.

4.Clean your dead parrot daily-
Keep your dead parrot clean by washing it weekly. (Remember it's rotting) You can either use claw side of a hammer to take out the nails from its claw and take it outside to wash it with a garden hose or you can just wash your dead parrot inside the cage. Just remember to clean out the food and toys from the cage. Dry your dead Parrot with a towel and he or she is clean. Replace dead parrot on swing.

5.Play with your dead parrot-
Just because your pet is dead doesn't mean you can't play with him. Remember rigamortis has set in so now it's easier to move around. Sing to it. Make it stand on your shoulder and make it walk down your arm to your hand. Talk to it. Scare your friends with it.

6.Swim with your dead parrot - Everyone likes a nice swim. It is a great form of exercise for you and your bird. Take your dead parrot to your pool, and hold on to it as you swim around the pool. You can go under water if you want and not drowning your pet. Towel yourself and the dead parrot off. *Reminder: Use different towels and scrub pool clean after swim.

7.Spend quality time with your dead parrot- you have an option to take it from outside its cage or sit it beside you on the couch or on your knee.

8.Love and pet your dead parrot daily- Love him and pet him as you insist your parrot is not dead to your friends and its just resting. It will hurt the parrot's feelings if you agree. Whisper delicately reassuring it that it is still alive and that it is safe. Don't mind the smell.

9. Feed your dead parrot daily- Even though it is dead it still needs to eat. This is cool b/c now you can feed your bird anything you want. *Moving beak to simulate chewing is optional. However, birds do not chew.

And there you have it, 9 ways in how to care for your dead parrot. * No Parrots or any other flying animals were harmed while writing this article. I love all manner of animals, vegetable or mineral and do not wish harm to any parrots or other birds. I hate nothing and no one.... Except Spam... I hate Spam...
Does anyone out there hate Spam too? Please leave your comments below: