How to Celebrate an Anti-Valentines Day

Valentine's Day...a day for couples .... But what if you aren't part of a couple? And even if you would like to be you have no idea what to do?

I remember reading once of a custom from the Middle Ages where a girl would pull the name of her Valentine from a bowl. I looked in my bowl today.....and it was empty! No name, no Valentine, what is one to do?

So I decided, on Feb. 14^th....I would have an Anti-Valentine Day! Then it hit me - I don't really know how to celebrate a Valentine's Day let alone an Anti-Valentine's day. Until recently I had spent most of my entire adult life - married. You might wonder how a married woman has no idea how to celebrate Valentine's Day. It all started the first year I was married.

I was a new, 19 year old wife who collected old "Love Is" items and had a young girl's romantic view of how a couple should spend Valentine's Day. With my limited budget I gathered up candles, flowers, and spent my grocery budget on some nice fat steaks and a simple bottle of wine. By the time my husband came home, the table was set with candles (ok granted they did not all match and the candle holders looked suspiciously like our cereal bowls) and flowers, wine goblets from the local equivalent to a dollar store, and a big card that said "Happy Valentine's Day". All set for a romantic evening right? Wrong!!

My husband walked through the door, glanced at the table and said "What is all that crap on the table?" Needless to say, I figured out then my husband possibly had lost the only romantic bone in his body....the one I thought I saw when first we met. As the years went by Valentine's Day became a day when I would spoil my children who after all are the greatest loves of my life. Now, here I am....my children see Valentine's Day as something to celebrate with a significant other instead of their mother...and I...have an empty bowl.

I have decided on this Anti-Valentine's Day celebration....so now I must do it! But how does one rebel against a holiday when every store, your email, the news, everything is covered in Valentine's Day items and stories? I have already slightly messed up my perfect rebellion by writing a Valentine's Day poem for my children. This then will be an imperfect rebellion and possibly an imperfect Anti-Valentine's Day.

If you are determined to celebrate an Anti -Valentine's day, the only suggestion I have is spending your time doing things you enjoy by yourself. After hours of thought on this subject this is all I could come up with. On Feb. 13^th, I will call everyone I love just to tell them I love them. I will throw out all emails that have the word "Valentine" in the title. I will draw stars instead of hearts when I doodle while on the phone. On Feb. 14^th I will do everything I enjoy. I will read, I will write, paint, and play my violin (even if the cat complains). I might even make heart shaped targets and go to the shooting range. Now that would be a statement of rebellion!

Sigh. This will never work. Rebellion only works when one truly believes in their cause. An Anti -Valentine's will never work for me. I will wake up, remember what day it is and think of all the people I love. I will remember that love takes many forms and "romantic love" does not take priority over any other kind. The day is about love, not just romance...and I love so many. I just looked in my bowl again - and realized - it is never empty.