How to Celebrate Anti-Valentine's Day

Ah, Valentine's Day. A day filled with love, romance, candy, flowers, kisses...and enough lovey-dovey-ness to turn your stomach. If the thought of Valentine's Day has you seeing red (and pink), here are some tips to celebrate an alternative holiday: Anti-Valentine's Day.

Anti-Valentine's Day is not just for singles -- couples can participate too. Now guys, it would be a good idea to make sure your lady is okay with this. Citing the fact that the modern version of the holiday was invented and perpetuated by retailers trying to make a fast buck will not get you out of the doghouse when you show up sans candy and flowers on the most "romantic" day of the year. This doesn't mean you can't have fun on Anti-V Day; instead, celebrate by doing something completely non-traditional. First, don't give any card companies or flower shops your hard earned cash. After all, is it fair that roses cost twice as much this one day of the year? The retailers know that you poor guys feel absolutely obligated to fork over whatever monetary sum they ask in order to stay in good graces with your wife, girlfriend, or that needy-seeming chick you went out with last Saturday. Valentines Day is all about useless, disposable gifts -- grown men and women really don't want teddy bears cluttering up their homes; flowers wilt and smell like refuse after a few days; and a box of chocolates just makes you feel really guilty after you devour the entire contents in one sitting. For Anti-Valentine's day, give something practical instead. If you really want to go all out, make it completely un-romantic: a free year of pest control for example. Rather than go to an expensive restaurant or cook a lavish dinner, order chinese food and watch action movies, or horror flicks. Whatever you do, don't rent any sappy movies...especially romantic comedies. Try No Country For Old Men instead. Avoid anything with hearts, anything pink, and anything furry.

So while couples can get into this, the majority of those celebrating Anti-Valentine's day are singles. After all, if you aren't in a relationship, or worse, just out of one, the last thing you want to see are reminders of love plastered everywhere. With this in mind, avoid malls whenever possible. For single guys and girls, V-Day can be extremely depressing. You might be tempted, as I was a few years ago, to spend all afternoon gorging yourself on chocolate and crying while watching Oprah. This was after my boyfriend at the time had dumped my only days before that day. I wish I had known about Anti-Valentine's day back then. Here's an alternative to spending the day in the doldrums -- forget about dates and go out with your friends instead -- preferably single friends. You don't want to go out with couples and watch them make lovey eyes at each other all night. If you want to chill by yourself, rent some comedies (NOT romantic comedies). Whatever you do, don't rent those movies where you cry through the whole thing, hoping the experience will be cathartic. That is not what Anti-Valentine's Day is all about. Anti-V Day is a celebration of YOU, an independent person, not someone that has to be "completed" by another half.