How to Chat About Art at a Cocktail Party - with Conviction

The New Year, especially New Year's Eve, brings many opportunities to have conversations with lots people you barely know. When exotic martinis in rainbow colors flow freely, opportunities abound to make a fool of yourself, or worse, blend into the background for your banal conversation. Success on the cocktail party circuit depends on the ability to keep the conversation lively and light. Fine art, for many, is an intimidating topic of conversation. But the cocktail party is not the place to display an encyclopedic knowledge of art history. With cocktail chatter, memorable sound bites rule.

The best source for pithy quotes about art is artists themselves.

The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it takes people to look at it. Banksy

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches. Andy Warhol

I think that the very earliest influence was a horror of having to work in a bank or an office, a desire for a free and creative life. Frank Auerbach

Believe it or not, I can actually draw. Jean Michel Basquiat

Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave. Constantin Brancusi

When quoting artists its best to have a general idea of the names and places that might come up in conversation. Again remember that in depth knowledge isn't necessary. A cursory familiarity is sufficient.

Conversation Starters - A Few Important Names and Art Movements to Know.

Christo and partner Jeanne-Claude create environmental installation art. The most recent, "The Gates" was unveiled in New York in 2005.

SAMO The signature Jean-Michel Basquiat used to sign graffiti art.

Abstract expressionism - Willem de Kooning, Hans Hofmann, Lee Krasner

Neo-figurative Art - Fernando Botero, Antonio Berni

Happenings and Performance Art - Claes Oldenburg, Jim Dine, Red Grooms

Trouble Makers in Art - Robert Maplethorpe, Karen Findley, Andres Serrano

Neo-expressionist Art - Georg Baselitz, Julian Schnabel

Be careful to avoid discussion of extremely well known artists. If conversation should turn to any of the following make sure to discretely roll your eyes in the direction the more sophisticated members of the group.

Conversation Stoppers - A Few Names to Avoid

The Impressionists - Lots of pretty pastels. Everyone's seen them.

Van Gogh - Unless of course you have an unknown fact about the man. Remember to pronounce his name (Vaaan Goch) If getting just the right Dutch pronunciation proves difficult, any dutch sounding noise other than (van-go) is acceptable.

Thomas Kincaide - The painter of light. If this name comes up pretend you don't know who he is.

Leonardo da Vinci - There's nothing more to say about the Mona Lisa or labyrinthine conspiracy theories.

If, by chance an unfamiliar artist is mentioned, a reasonably successful gambit is to say "Ah, yes, (insert artist's name) I've always felt his earlier work was superior." You should quickly guide the conversation to an obscure artist of your own choosing.

Dazzle them with with your conversation - A short list of less well known artists.

Eric Fischl

Gottfried Helnwein

Nicole J Georges

Armed with a little bit of information you are now prepared to chatter with the best of them.