How to Get Your Child to Eat

We've all met them-the toddler who turns up his nose at anything green (or yellow or red-except ketchup) on his plate, or who will eat only Ramen noodles or Kraft mac and cheese. Some of us have looked down our own noses at parents so inept that they can't get their child to eat. When it's your own child, though, you worry about nutrition, about growth, sometimes that they'll actually starve to death. So what can a parent do when blessed with a child who seems to live on air? First, relax. It takes a while for kids to starve to death, or even to become seriously malnourished.

The first and most important step is to make sure there's not a medical reason for the child's lack of appetite. If a child who normally eats well suddenly loses his appetite, he may be getting sick. If the loss of appetite lasts longer than a few days, it's a good idea to check for something more serious. Chronic diseases also cause poor appetite or discomfort while eating. Some children have sensory integration problems that make certain textures, or in the worst cases most foods, uncomfortable to eat. Treating the sensory problem will usually improve food intake. The bottom line is that your child should be eating something, and it should be enough that he or she is growing and developing normally. By normally, I mean that he or she is meeting milestones within the acceptable time frame and is on the growth chart and more or less staying in a curve, not that he or she is in the top half of children the same age. Someone has to be in the 5^th percentile, and someone has to walk at 16 months instead of 8 months. If either development or growth is a problem, see your pediatrician for an evaluation. This how-to is for normal healthy kids who happen to be picky eaters.

Step two is to recognize normal toddler eating patterns. It is normal for toddlers to graze rather than eat big meals. It is normal for toddler appetites to drop significantly at about the same time he makes a bid for independence. That makes eating a perfect venue for trying out that independence, and many parents walk right into the trap.

Third, accept that eating is not a moral issue or a reflection on your parenting ability. Let go of worrying about what people will say or worse-what your mother thinks.

Fourth, establish rules and make changes that will encourage your child to eat a healthy diet. If you have a picky eater, you definitely don't want her to fill up on sweets. Leave them at the store. If you want to give her a treat, make it fruit. If all the food in the house is healthy, then every bite she takes will be healthy. It's possible to overdo even healthy foods, though, so set limits if you see the need. Don't become a short order cook. A child who eats only organic macaroni and cheese is still eating only macaroni and cheese. One tactic that has worked well for me is to give the child a very small serving of everything on the table, and offer seconds when the plate is empty. If he wants more potatoes, he has to eat some meat and vegetables. Some parents make sure to include something they know the child likes in every meal. Some start with a limited menu and gradually expand. Whatever you decide to put on the child's plate, though, she is in charge of what goes in her mouth. If she chooses not to eat, save her plate, let her leave the table, and do so without begging, bribing, threatening, or disciplining in an effort to get her to eat more. No more bargaining. If she says she isn't hungry, believe her (ignoring this rule can lead to weight problems later on, as it teaches the child to ignore hunger cues). If she gets hungry before bedtime/the next meal, offer her the saved meal, heated if necessary. The goal isn't to make the food unappetizing, but to let him know that he can't hold out for a preferred food. If he skips a meal, don't panic. He'll be hungry for the next one. Allowing the child to decide whether to eat or not takes the pressure off and in my experience most kids will be willing to try new things once they are sure they are allowed to dislike them. My pickiest kid's favorite food is broccoli-perfectly steamed, of course.

A couple of special situations: Some people tend to hypoglycemia, and some of them are kids. When their blood sugar drops they may feel sick and not want to eat. In the short term, of course you have to get them to eat so they'll feel better right now. In the long term, blood sugar can generally be stabilized with diet. Eat plenty of protein, whole grains rather than simple carbs, and limit sweets. Keep a snack with carbs and protein handy for between meals, and eat a protein rich snack at bedtime if dinner is early. Above, I mentioned kids with sensory integration disorder. That can affect eating habits, and can range from a child gagging on mushy foods or having an aversion to crunchy ones, all the way to a child finding it difficult to eat anything because the feel of food in his mouth is like nails on a chalkboard. Obviously, if a child's sensory problems are seriously impacting nutrition, a professional should be consulted. But if your child gags on mushy foods, for example, it's pretty easy to get around that. Just make sure to include non-mushy foods in your menu. Now you're ready to feed even the pickiest toddler.