How to Get a Child to Look at You

One of the hardest things to do is to get a child's attention when they do not want to listen to you. It is even harder to connect with a child that will not look at you. How can you show a child how to do an activity if he or she will not look at you? Whether you are dealing with an emotionally disturbed child or a child with disabilities, here are a few suggestions to get that child looking at and even interacting with you.

Move slowly when you are near a child that you do not know and who does not know you. Do not throw your hands around until you are certain the child is not afraid of you. Sudden movement and hand gestures can scare the child and even make the child fear you.

Be extremely animated with vocal tones and facial expressions. Once you know movement will not scare the child, put your body into it. A child may connect with you because of how you express yourself to them. Some disabled children have a hard time understanding emotion. If you can over-do your expressions the child may understand better.

Follow the child and watch him or her. Be near the child. Act curious about what the child is doing. The child will see you and be curious about you.

Just because you think the child is not seeing you, do not give up. Children can see you when you think they are not looking. Keep trying and eventually they will come around.

The best thing I ever did to connect with my child was to do what he was doing. Follow the child. If he or she picks up a toy and plays, pick up a similar toy and play where you are. Do not get in your child's space. Let the child come to you.

If your child just runs, spins, or flaps constantly without playing you may want to try imitating him or her. Children's curiosity will eventually get the better of the child. My son started spinning at two years old and I did too. At first, he just stopped and stared at me, watching to see what I was doing. Then, he started spinning again. When I stopped he pushed on me to do it again and he was smiling. It was extremely important to me that my child look at me, and he did.

The most important thing to remember when trying to get a child's attention is the child's mental age. Secondly, what you do for one child may not work with other children. Third, even though the child may not be looking at you, he or she is watching you. Everything you do will send signals to the child telling them whether he or she can trust you.

Any time you are dealing with an emotionally unstable child, if you are unfamiliar with taking care of them, consult a professional. The child may need more help than you can give them. Getting the attention of a child also means you need to reciprocate and hold the attention. Remember that once you connect with a child, it is your obligation to help that child by teaching, playing, and caring for him or her.