How to Use Child Support

I've heard horror stories about absent parents trying to regulate what their child support payments should be used for. The truth is that the absent parent has no say at all concerning what the child support is used for. But common sense and the reason for the existence of child support tells us that it should be used to meet the needs of the child. However, there are conflicting views as to exactly what that means. Let's try to be realistic and take a look at the requirements of the state as well as the views of both parents.

The state says child support is to be used for the child's needs only. Too many people are misinformed about child support. Each state does have a standard of living that parents need to meet, and yes, child support is there to take care of the child. Parents need to have a roof over the child's head, running water and a way to heat food and water. That does not mean that the custodial parent should pay all the bills, and then devote the child support to brand name clothes for the child.

Child support is the child's money. I have no idea where anyone ever got this idea, but it simply isn't true. If the family lived together, would the absent parent write a check to each child every week? I doubt it. Child support is to meet the needs of the child, not to give them a weekly spending account.

Parents can't buy tobacco or alcohol with child support. Here we go again. Actually, parents can buy whatever they want with child support and in all reality, as long as the needs of the child are met, the absent parent has no say in how the child support is spent and neither does the state. In some cases, yes it would serve the child better if vouchers were given to the custodial parent instead of cash, but that's not the way it works. If you feel that the custodial parent is unfit and that the child's needs aren't being met, then exercise your right as a parent and fight for custody of your child.

Parents who get child support shouldn't ask for anything more. Child support is to meet the basic needs of the child. There are always larger needs, like a new bike or computer that parents can work together on. Of course, the absent parent is under no obligation to do anything more than the court decrees, but the custodial parent isn't doing any harm by asking them to go halves on an item.

If the custodial parent has a significant other in the house, the absent parent shouldn't pay support. While the absent parent may feel violated because they still have to pay support on the child even if another adult has entered the picture, it really has nothing to do with them or the child support. Absent parents pay child support to help with the maintenance of the child. Even if the custodial parent gets married, this does not mean that the absent parent is no longer responsible for helping out financially when it comes to their child.

It's a shame that family dynamics now have to be resolved in a courtroom and in the end; sometimes the child is the last one the parents think of. Parents who receive child support need to quit worrying about what the absent parent thinks. They need to pay their bills and work within their budget to the best of their abilities. Child support is just one part of that budget and is meant to be combined with any other income the custodial parent has access to.

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References: Personal experience