How to Choose Great Friends: Signs of a Long-Lasting Friendship

Choosing and finding friends can often be a daunting task. Nearly everyone has had bad experiences in which they were burned by becoming involved with the wrong people or crowds. But these experiences can often be prevented by just paying a little more attention and making a few "socialization changes."

Watch the eyes. Does the individual exude a warm, sincere expression? Or could the expression be better described as cold, disinterested, or forced? As many researchers will point out, often the eyes can't lie. When noticing the eyes, keep in mind that some people are nervous during first meetings or in public settings.

Listen for "heart attitude." Often one can tell quite a bit about a person's character from small comments during conversation. Does the person treat everyone, not just you, with respect? Are jokes made behind others' backs or at the expense of certain ethnicities, beliefs, etc? Good people will respect people behind their backs as well as to their face. Chances are, if someone is talking about others behind their backs, he/she will do the same behind yours.

Browse social profiles. An individual's true self often comes out when the chances of repercussion are low. Often one will find that a social profile reveals a completely different person from the one he/she thinks he/she knows. The "dark side" of a person is often exposed by a simple FaceBook or MySpace page. On the other hand, you may come to find that a certain person has even more in common with you than you thought by browsing through their activities, interests, and beliefs. Also, check the number of friends. If a person has an unrealistic number of friends, they may be on more of a search for attention than friendship.

Check for "word cues." Is a person's speech disrespectful and demeaning or polite and respectful? Respectful individuals will avoid prejudiced or impolite phrasing and words. Those who use derogatory language, curse around children, intentionally use offensive religious language, or other such disrespectful speech are probably not people with whom it would be best to associate. Remember that people are judged by the company they hold.

Attend a group event. Stepping back and watching individuals' interaction with others is often the best way to get to know who they really are. Consistency is always an important quality in any friendship. If the person appears to become a different individual depending on the company, chances are the person is not particularly sincere. No sense wasting time on a "fair weather" friend.

Converse about yourself. Don't give away deeply personal details, but provide enough information to discern whether or not the person really cares. Does the individual seem interested in your life, or more concerned with discussing her/his own? Good friends care about other people.