How to Make Christmas Enjoyable for Yourself

It's the middle of December. The holidays are fast approaching. I'm not ready.

Every year it seems I try to plan events knowing that certain family celebrates Christmas, other parts of my family celebrate Hanukkah, and still other friends and family members celebrate in other ways or not at all. To prepare for this I try to plan (or control) the details of various activities so that I can participate in something warm, festive, and merry-making in EVERY capacity.

Without too much detail, let's just say that, with as much enthusiasm as went into planning, things fell apart around me. It was almost like I had designed December 10th-31st to be filled with disappointment, disaster, and other various mishaps. It's not even Christmas yet!

As these unfortunate events were occuring, I began to feel awful about the upcoming Christmas activities. But at the same time I've been gaining a lot of insight into this time and the way I bring about these specific things. I've been reading about how to simplify the holidays and I'm eager to implement changes before things get any worse.

Expectations

After some help from others, I realize that along with traditions and nostalgic memories of Christmas, I've incorporated some expectations. As a child I LOVED Christmas. My family was Jewish (my dad converted) but we got to celebrate Christmas with my grandparents. We had bountiful stockings, fun, family time, snow, sledding, Christmas light viewings, singing, great gifts and a chance to appreciate our previous year and share those appreciations with others. It couldn't have been more magical. At least that's what I remember!

As I have gotten older, I haven't really updated those expectations. I found myself feeling surprised when I didn't receive the same kinds of amazing gifts I did as a child. I even felt jealous when younger family members got stockings! Like any other life change, I needed to look at what was important to me and figure out how to get my needs met more appropriately. I had to update my expectations.

What You Really Want

When holidays roll around, I find that I rarely have time to eat three meals, much less think about what I really want for that time. I am busy wondering if I bought the right presents, called the right people, gave enough charity, and made enough food. If it's too late this year, then put it on your calendar, in October, to sit down and think about what the holidays mean to you and how you can manifest your own desires.

I enjoy the snow. Living in Seattle prevents me from being able to count on snow each year, so this year I planned to take some time out to go play in the mountains. I know there's snow there and now I will get my wish of a "White Christmas" no matter what's it's like at home.

Involve only as much family as you want to.

Sometimes family just makes things complicated if they aren't on the same page. Since I really love the holiday spirit, I have made several arrangments to spread out the activities based on the enthusiasm of others. I know some people like snow, others like to sit around and tell stories, and still others simply want some family face time and then want to get back to their lives. Knowing that there are several things I can do to increase that warm feeling makes me happy and I don't have to drag folks around against their will.

What do the holidays mean to you?

I've forgotten why I love the winter so much and the holidays remind me that I have time to slow down, eat warming foods, and really reflect on the past year. With the stress of an over-commercialized November through January, I tend to forget how much I love spending time with my husband, just reading together. I also love to cook and entertain and the extra days off of work allow me to spend more time planning dinners with people I haven't seen in a while.

New Traditions

While I've been a bit reluctant to let some expectations go, I can simultaneously see that now I have more room to create new traditions for my family. We don't have kids yet, but I don't want them to be the excuse for the way we spend our time. I want them to feel that we can create the experiences we want, even if it means breaking some hearts and fighting some long-held family traditions. I am eager to bring the light back into the holidays and so I hope to show them that they can have a hand in that too. And at the same time, I want their experiences to reflect the things they love. As a child I *really* enjoyed playing board games with my family. Pictionary, Scrabble, Monopoly and other games made the time with my family really special. Since my siblings and I still love to play games, that's a large part of our interaction and I look forward to it each year.