How to Clean Your Dog's Anal Glands

There are just some things that are not meant for polite conversation. Your dog's anal glands are one such topic. One wouldn't hear at a Sunday brunch, "Well, Fifi's anal glands seem to be full. Do you need help expressing them?" And if you ever do that would be the last time you would dine with those guests. But, when sweet little Fifi is scooting across your white Berber carpet like she is trying to win the Indy 500. You throw your dignity to the wind. And try to get to the "bottom" of this predicament.

When my precious little angel, Winnie the Poodle, began her anal antics, I called my sister, who was once a veterinary technician. "Lela, please tell why my dog is drag racing on the carpet, licking her rear like its candy, and emitting such a horrendous odor." She just calmly stated "Oh, her anal glands must be full." And then being the dear sister she is, she offered to express them for me.

After doing this she then told me that I could get this done at either the vet's, groomer's, or do it myself. Being a great cheap scape, I chose to learn to express Winnie's glands myself. And for those frugal ones out there, I'll teach you all, too.

Apparently, having a stinky scent was once beneficial to dogs. Once, ancient dogs needed to leave their scent in their poo to mark territory. And their glands expressed themselves passing bits of bone. Well, the closest Winnie comes to the wild is an occasional squirrel entering our fenced backyard. And giving up her kibble would be inhumane in her opinion. So, if you don't want your dog smelling quite so wild, follow these steps.

So first examine your dog's rear. The anal glands are located internally on both sides of the anus. And yes your dog will be giving you some very questioning looks about now. Okay, now comes the part that separates the men or women in my case from the boys/girls. Yes, you will have to touch your dog's anus. Many will stop here and say, "Okay I'll pay the extra bucks to have it done. I'm not touching my dog's butt." But, for the true tight wads we proceed onward.

You will need to place your dog in the bath tub. Because, you will want to bathe your dog. Next get a tissue or paper towel, and place over your dog's anus. With your thumb and fingers on each side of the anus, gently squeeze. Take care with large or aggressive pets as they might take off your arm. Now move your fingers back and forth in a "milking" motion. The anal secretions will express into the paper towel. It is very important to not get the secretions on you may I repeat do not get it on you! It is very odorous. You haven't vomited yet? Good job! If this is some thing new for your dog, it will be looking like it has been accosted. And it will be seriously questioning if the procedure was legal to perform on an animal.

Now, good for you, all that needs to be done now is to bathe your dog. And lucky for us dogs have limited intelligence and memory. So in a few minutes Fifi will have forgotten her assault, and back to loving you. So the next time your dog is doing the booty scoot instead of the fox trot. You can express her anal glands yourself. Or fork out the doe and consider it money well spent.