How to Be a Compassionate Mentor

A Mentor Defined

What is a mentor? One definition says, "A mentor is a trusted and experienced advisor who has a direct interest in the development and education of a less experienced individual. A mentor is that person who achieves a one-to-one developmental relationship with a learner, and one whom the learner identifies as having enabled personal growth to take place." A mentor commits himself or herself to the one he or she is mentoring, the mentee. The mentor may play the role of advisor, role model, coach and supporter.

Mentor benefits and roles

What kind of person makes a good mentor? As described above, a mentor should be one with experience. Usually, a mentor is someone older or more experienced, who also possesses the compassion necessary to advise and help along someone who is younger or less experienced. Patience and genuine concern are of primary importance in the mentor-mentee relationship.

What approach should a mentor take in guiding the mentee? The University of Wisconsin at Oshkosh, in their faculty mentoring resources, offers a four-step questioning approach that mentors can use to help give direction to students. The first type of question the mentor can use focus on goals; the mentor can challenge the student with questions like, "What would you like to happen that is not happening now?" or "What outcome would you like from this conversation?"

In the next part of the four-step questioning process, the mentor challenges the student to examine where he is at presently, by asking questions like, "What is happening at the moment?" or "What other factors are relevant?" The student should be encouraged to articulate the goals he hopes to achieve and then to examine where he is at in the process of achieving those goals.

Third, the mentor can ask pointed questions to help the student explore options for reaching his goals; these questions include "What could you do to change the situation?" "Who might be able to help?" and "What possibilities for action do you see?" The mentor should encourage the student to explore different possibilities, even if the student does not see the feasibility of some of the alternatives.

Finally, once the mentor has helped the student begin developing a vision for achieving the student's goals, the mentor can wrap up the time by asking questions like "What are the next steps?" and "What support do you need?" At this point, it is vital for the mentor to reassure the student that he, as the mentor, will be there to encourage and assist the student as he goes about pursuing his goals.

Mentoring Across Cultures

In cross-cultural situations, the mentor will need to exercise a special sensitivity. First of all, the mentee may be under pressures or influences from his culture that the mentor knows nothing about. The mentor should be perceptive and also show interest in the mentee's life so that he can understand these unique pressures. It would also be helpful for the mentor to research the culture in order to better understand the worldview of people of that culture. Cultural sensitivity is a crucial component of successful cross-cultural mentoring.

In conclusion, a mentor is one who possesses knowledge and the ability and desire to guide and assist one who is less experienced. If the mentor is willing to expend the extra effort to understand a mentee from another culture and to employ appropriate mentoring methods, even a cross-cultural mentoring relationship can be successful.