How to Be a Confident Young Mother

It's that time of year again - kids are shuffling off to school, dragging remnants of their summer memories into the hallways and grasping on tight to that last day at the beach as they slide into their seats. Well, this year was my first year back to school in awhile. I graduated only seven years ago, but today I went back to kindergarten...with my son. I'm a young mother, and I felt just as nervous as he did as I stood against the school building watching him shift his weight back and forth. He kept escaping from standing in line with his strange new classmates to sneak hugs from me. My nervousness is a little different than his. I haven't completely registered in with this new parental pack standing alongside me - how do I define myself as a respectable adult, when I am nearly a child myself?

If you're a young mother and you feel as though at times you and your parenting choices are judged - well, you're right. But that doesn't mean the judgment others pass on you is correct. My biggest issue in the beginning years was holding myself back from enjoying myself or taking my son places because I was afraid of how I would be perceived. 20 years old with a kid? The older generation will be there, watching, and waiting to see how atrociously you rear your young. Really, who put that fear in your heart? At some point you have to ask yourself, whose opinion do you trust and honor, and whose doesn't matter?

For most of us, we honor our loved ones opinions and beliefs - and they can definitely be hard critics. But most importantly, what do you believe is true, what do you believe in? Take heart in those who will support and guide you, and offer you sound advice. If you have no resources or people who can stand behind you or help you, know that you are your best advocate. Your decisions are made with the best of intentions. If you feel confused or need help or guidance, there are Internet resources that offer forums where you can ask other mothers, like yourself, questions and solutions to problems or circumstances you may be encountering. Try www.youngmommies.com and connect with other mothers on their forum. A favorite parenting resource of mine is Parenting.com!

My biggest source of guidance and counsel was my mother - she stood behind my decisions, and when she disagreed with how I was executing "parental guidance" for my son, she would tell me. If I felt her point of view and reasons for her opposition were something I could find helpful and better suited to myself, I would make adjustments. Strangers are always going to pass judgment on you, hate how you change your kid's diaper or how you play with them. They will scorn your methods of speaking to or redirecting your child. Does it matter though? No. Unless they can offer you some helpful advice or suggest a different way of doing things that seems of interest to you - disregard them.

I used to find it difficult to wedge my way into the parental crowds at my son's daycare because I held myself back - it wasn't until recently that I realized my own fears were standing in the way of being able to partake in the adult conversations, and in turn keeping my son from being able to truly enjoy himself. If I was afraid to take him to the playground because I didn't want to feel confronted by other parents, I'm keeping that from him. If I don't want to take him to a birthday party because I know I will have to socialize and be scrutinized by other parents - I'm keeping THAT from him. Well, it's time to get over that fear of what other people think - or what they will say, because if you are confident in your abilities and techniques for raising your child, you can be confident you will have something interesting and worthwhile to share with the other parents. Take command of the situation, And if it just so happens that they don't want to have anything to do with you - which is unlikely - then they just aren't important enough for you to be worried about it. If they don't care, then you don't need to care about what they think!

Don't hold yourself back, and don't let others infuse you with their negativity. You're doing your best and loving your child to your greatest capacity. That is the most important thing of all.