How to Confront Someone when You Are Non Confrontational

Confronting someone is never easy, but it can be exceptionally difficult when you are a non confrontational person. Some situations cannot be avoided so it's best to be prepared as possible and know how to handle a confrontation when one arises.

I am very non confrontational. I hate conflicts and try to avoid them at all cost. I am usually told I wear my feelings on my sleeve and that I let people run over me to some extent. I really do not want to be that way, but usually in the end I realize the person I am needing to confront has absolutely no problem confronting me and telling me how they feel, so why should I feel any different?

It is important to stand up for yourself. If you don't, who will? You don't have to let a future confrontation get you all worked up and your nerves into a frenzy. There are ways you can successfully confront someone.

Most people who are non confrontational don't want to make the other person mad at them or jeopardize the friendship. Something I had to do one time was to take a good long look at what kind of friendship was I trying to save? Some friendships, unfortunately, aren't worth saving. If the other person isn't willing to try and save it there isn't much you can do. Sometimes you have to take a chance and confront them. Sometimes you have to let go.

In confronting someone I think it is always important to stay calm. I also think it's important to highlight the positives before diving into the negatives. Tell the person what you appreciate about them and what you like about them before confronting them with the pressing issue. If there is nothing you can say you appreciate or like then you can still tactfully start the conversation regarding the issue at hand.

Try to avoid the words "never" and "always" . You know what I mean. How many times in an argument have you heard the words, or perhaps even said the words, "you never" or "you always". Very seldom will a person "always" or "never" do something, so it's best to try and avoid using those terms.

Try to be specific in what is upsetting you. For example, if they hurt your feelings tell them why. Don't just tell them they really hurt your feelings the other day, tell them specifically what they said or did to hurt your feelings.

Be willing to listen to what they have to say. If you just bombard them with everything they have done to you and how you feel they will feel they are being attacked and will be defensive. If you start the conversation off nice, or at least in a nice tone, it will feel less like an attack and more like a conversation.

Be sure you have all the facts. It is a bad situation when you confront someone based only on hear say. You need to know the facts and what is real. During the confrontation is a little late to be finding out.

Avoid sarcasm and rudeness. I know this can be hard at times especially if the person you are confronting thrives on sarcasm. Just remember you are trying to be the better man and not give into those childish games. You will get much better results with kindness then rudeness. This actually works in more ways than one!

Keep your emotions in check! Try to avoid angry outbursts and avoid raising your voice. There are some situations where you will really have to practice self control but you can do it!

Last, but not least, pick the right time to confront someone. Confronting someone at their job while they are at their desk is probably not the best time to be confronting them. Be sure you have plenty of time to talk and get things settled. I suggest meeting at a coffee shop or going somewhere to get a coke.

Confrontation isn't easy but when you are equipped with the proper tools and know the proper way to handle things it makes it a little easier.