How to Control Your Emotions when Faced with Stressful Situations

Stress and the emotions it sometimes triggers are suspected by many to be a contributing factor in illnesses including hypertension, heart conditions, sleep and digestive disorders. Aside from these conditions, negative emotions caused by stress can also distort our communication with others which can often snowball into a larger, even more stressful circumstance. While many situations arise that may cause us to be stressed, how we handle the emotions attached to these situations can help us maintain a level of control necessary to cope with the situation at hand. The following are a few suggestions that you may find useful the next time you are faced with a stressful situation.

When you feel yourself becoming overly stressed, tense or upset, train yourself to stop and inhale/exhale three times very slowly. With each inhale, make sure that air is entering either your lungs or your diaphragm. Keeping your mind focused on your breath, you should be able to visibly see either your stomach or your chest rise and fall with each inhale/exhale.

While inhaling/exhaling, pay attention to which parts of your body are tense and purposely relax those muscles. Imagine yourself inhaling calm, peace and control while exhaling anger, stress, fear or whatever emotion it is you are wanting to control.

Remind yourself that you can control your reactions. While the situation you're in may cause agitation, in order to deal with it most effectively, you will need to consciously and deliberately choose your actions. In doing so, it is important that you remain calm and alert. Do not allow your buttons to be pushed and do not allow yourself to become a victim of your own emotions. While you may feel certain emotions, it is important not to allow your emotions to then dictate your reactions. If this is a difficult task for you, tell yourself that you will allow yourself time later to respond emotionally once you are away from the immediate situation and in an environment where you are safe to let it all out without harming yourself or someone else, but that right now you will need to keep those emotions contained and react with a clear mind, calm speech and deliberate, peaceful action.

If your situation involves conflict with another person or persons, allow that person time to speak while you patiently listen. While listening, don't focus on creating a response to what you are hearing, but give your full attention to the points they are trying to make and try to sincerely recognize their point of view. Even if you disagree with their opinion or their actions, take a moment to calmly acknowledge that this is their opinion or the action that they are choosing to take. Be sure to tell them that you are considering their point of view even if you do not agree at this time. Doing so takes your mind off of your position long enough to let you clearly assess both sides and, hopefully, will give the other person a sense of calm in that their position is at the very least being heard. This may cause them to relax a little and even contribute to an attitude of peace toward whatever the situation is. At the very least, it will give you a measure of control over the situation in that you are now out of the stress of an "emotional battle" and are seeking understanding and peace instead.

If you need to, allow yourself time to place the stressful situation on the back burner until you've had time to calm down and better decide your approach. Even if your situation involves conflict with another person, make them aware that you'd feel better if you can take a little time to better understand both of your positions and make a better decision. Then, make an appointment with yourself on when you will sit down to consider the situation and for how long you will do so. You may decide that from seven to eight pm, you will give your full attention to the matter and, hopefully, arrive at a solution, but that for the time being you are going to give your mind a break from it and do something else instead. Be diligent in setting this time aside and do not try to let your mind wander back to attempt to work the situation out before then.

While we sometimes can't control the stressful situations we are faced with, we can control how we react to them and the degree to which we allow them to impact our lives. Hopefully, from this point forward you will be aware of your responses and seek to keep your emotions on a safe frequency.