How to Cope with Adversity and Not Lose Hope

It can be a really hard pill to swallow when you have made a decision that did not work out well. Perhaps, you made a rash decision to get married, divorced, or quit a job. I have done all three things in my lifetime with devastating consequences. Yet, I managed to get my life back and you can too.

You can not live in the past. You have to accept your decision and the consequences that come afterward. Dwelling on what could have been will only make you depressed and weaken your resolve to move on. Sometimes, it is not always possible to right a wrong. You are only human and sometimes despite your best intentions: plans may go awry. Reminiscing about the past over and over again is not mentally healthy. It only prolongs the healing process. For example, back in 2003 I had quit a perfectly good job at a nursing home to work in private duty. My patient died within a week. I had no job and no income. It took many years before I found the position I currently have now.

Realize your decision may have not been a wrong one. No one can really say 100 % that your decision was wrong. Adverse circumstances that may occur; does not indicate your decision was a wrong one. In fact, even if you decided otherwise, how do you know things may have been worse? For example, I had a very good friend that divorced her husband because of his abusive behavior. She lamented her decision while rearing two small children by herself. It was hard raising children alone. She had actually forgotten just how mean her husband was to her. A simple reminder of what terrible things could have happened if she had stayed; cured her momentary regret.

Do not rush into another bad situation. It is tempting to rush into another situation hoping to find an immediate relief in the face of suffering. My friend mentioned earlier, had quickly remarried another man after dating for only a month. She was seeking stability, financial support, and emotional relief from her plight. Tragically, this man was physically abusive to her and molested her children. She divorced him immediately. Things may be bad now, but they could be a whole lot worse.

Keep moving forward, do the right thing, and don't give up. It can be hard to foresee a better future when you are going through bad times. Keep a positive frame of mind despite adversity. You will have to make adjustments along the way. Practice self control and discipline. What ever happened to the friend mentioned previously? She had to seek counseling for herself and the children. In due time, she married another man whom she dated for a year. They have been happily married for eight years and have one child together. Her other children have adjusted well. So, even the most tragic circumstances can have a happy ending if you don't give up.

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