How to Cope When a Child Moves Back Home

It is not rare to hear that a child is moving back in with his or her parents, whether it is during break from college or just because funds are incredibly tight. After a certain amount of time, both the parents and the child are used to being on their own, doing as they please and having a certain routine. When both worlds suddenly have to come together, even for a brief time, it can be chaos if there is not a plan set and patience involved.

Set your boundaries on dating

While some parents are okay with having their child have someone come over or stay over, others are not. It is important, no matter what age your child is, to discuss what you deem appropriate and what you do not in regards to bringing dates to the house. The matter should be thoroughly discussed so both of you are on the same page and there are no blurred lines.

Refresh the child's memory on basic house rules

Although the child may have had a different set of rules at his or her previous home, is important that they follow the rules you have set in place. For example, if you do not want him or her eating in the bedroom or taking thirty-minute long showers, let the rules be known. If you must, have him or her sign a paper detailing everything that both of you discussed so there are no discrepancies in the future.

Request a contribution towards the household

Either you can ask for monetary payment, such as a rent payment per month or a certain amount toward bills, or you can request that certain chores be done around the house. Depending on the circumstances, you may ask for both. Whichever you decide, it is important that an agreement is reached and followed through upon.

Remember that privacy is important

Just because both you and your child are in the same house, it does not mean that each person can barge in on the other without knocking, be nosy about the other's business, borrow items without asking or look through the other person's things. There should be a strong feeling of trust in the home and, if there is not, you may want to reconsider both of you being under the same roof.

Discuss with the child when he or she will move out

Unless your child is planning to live with you the rest of your life, you should at least have an estimate on when he or she will be re-flying the nest. This is just so the child does not get too comfortable and remembers that he or she has to eventually move out. If any set backs come up during that time, you can work it out accordingly.

If there are ground rules set in place and discussions are had ahead of time, it can decrease the chances that there are going to be problems. While it can be difficult to have the child move back home again, you can use this as an opportunity to strengthen your bond. Instead of it being a hassle, it could end up being a joy.