How to Cope with a Chronic Illness, Your Attitude

How can we have a good attitude while chronically ill? Why should we? To answer the second question first, having a good attitude is important for our own health, and it makes it easier for others to be around us!

As I said in the last article, if I hadn't become ill long-term, I might never have realized just how much I needed God. I was a pitiful excuse for a Christian. So that's a major thing for which to give thanks. And really, it's the most important. I have learned that I need to rely on God for every aspect of my life. The apostle Paul said that His strength is made perfect through our weakness. How can that happen if we don't accept weakness? People in this society put a premium on personal strength, both physical and mental. But nobody is strong in every area of life. We have to be able to admit weakness in some areas and accept it when confronted with failure. So our attitude should be one of acceptance.

For example, I approached homeschooling my two children with confidence at first. Even through the early stages of my illness, when we didn't know what it was, I still had no doubts as to my ability to teach them. But I had a relapse early last year and I lost my grip on all that was important in my life. My brain is now being affected by the Lyme disease. Losing short-term memory and cognitive abilities cause a person to really lose self-confidence. So I am learning to have a new attitude. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Why has He allowed me to become even weaker? I don't know. But God says that His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways. In fact, they are as far apart as the heavens are from the earth. (Isaiah 55:8,9) We cannot understand most of what He does or why He does or does not do something. And really, would He be God if we could understand Him? No. Do not make the mistake of limiting Him to your understanding.

So on to some practical suggestions. One way to keep a good attitude is to break the habit of dwelling on what you've lost. Now, it's okay to go through a period of mourning for all that you've lost. But stay close to God through it and ask Him to bring you out of it in good time. You don't want to be bitter. So instead of dwelling on your losses, look for positive things to dwell on. Make a list of things for which to be thankful. Read it daily and add to it regularly.

Rather than focusing on the abilities you've lost, start looking at what you can do. Can you still use a pen? Write notes of encouragement to others. Send thank you notes, birthday cards, anniversary cards, etc. If you can't write well, use the computer. You could also use the telephone to encourage others. If you don't know someone who is going through a hard time, ask your pastor. Assure him you're not looking for gossip, rather that you're wanting to be an encouragement to someone else.

What else can you do? Only you know your particular circumstances, but hopefully these ideas will help spark some ideas for you. Are you married? Create a peaceful environment for your spouse to come home to. They've been supporting you and providing for you in your illness and will most likely be appreciative of even small gestures that say you care and you're grateful. Whoever helps you keep the house clean, whether children or someone else, ask them to have it neat when it's time for your spouse to arrive. Have a nice scent in the air, whether from candles, potpourri, or air freshener. Can you rub his shoulders for a minute? Can you lend an ear? Allow her to vent about her workday if necessary. Share the load through encouragement and prayer. If you're not married, perhaps you live with a parent or family member who could use the same kind of encouragement.

The key is to focus on others and how you can help them. In giving of ourselves to others, no matter how small the gesture, we can forget about our own troubles for a time and put them in a proper perspective. Making a habit of reaching out to others will help you to stop focusing on your own difficulties. It will help you to have a better attitude. And when you show others you care, they are more willing to care for you. But even if they don't respond in kind, your heavenly Father sees your heart and will reward you. Only He can meet all your needs. Let Him do so.

Part 3 will be about our relationships.