How to Cope with the Decline of Health from Cancer

Cancer can be emotionally and physically painful. To help understand what type of emotional and physical impact cancer can have on someone and for tips on coping with the decline of health from cancer, I have interviewed therapist Ralph Lind.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I am a psychotherapist but began my vocational life as a minister, I was a pastor for 15 years. Then returned to graduate school, became licensed and have now been practicing for 10 years as a therapist. Two events were very influential for me personally in relation to the theme of cancer and/or life threatening illness . I was very close to my older brother, also a psychotherapist, who died from cancer following a 6 year battle. And, one year ago I experienced Sudden Cardiac Arrest and had a quadruple bypass heart surgery the following day. These experiences have made a profound impact on me personally and professionally. Perspectives change as one integrates the reality of near death and the life that then unfolds can be profoundly altered by those shifts. I do not ever want to be sick again, but just as passionately, I do not want to lose the insight, the motivation or priorities that have taken shape in my life as a result of my illness, recovery and the loss of my brother."

What type of emotional and physical impact can cancer have on someone?

"This is of course is a huge topic and I can only make some beginning comments. A patient receiving a diagnosis of cancer enters a transition period that likely will permanently transform their life. The impact can be characterized as traumatic and one's response can fit the symptoms of PTSD. Analogy is often made comparing the diagnosis of cancer as a bomb going off in someone's house and there's an extended period of time assessing the damage followed by attempts to repair the damage. That being said, it is also critically important to know that in our current medical context, many people treat their cancer and continue to live very full and productive lives, virtually unaltered from pre-diagnosis. Many cancers may cause terror in the patient, who then discovers that treatment and moving on with their life is not all that bad. For others, it is the beginning of a new and radically altered life, and for some the treatment itself may be experienced as worse than death, and the outcome sadly unsure. The critical point I want to make here is the need to get the information - all the information - regarding the diagnosis. That may take weeks and months. Rarely is there a diagnosis without many tests and retests. Many patients become lay experts on their cancer due to the incredible availability of information made possible by the internet.

A second critical point is that the emotional impact of a diagnosis of cancer is not limited to the patient. There is an emotional infectious nature to any life threatening illness. The spouse, partner, family or primary caregivers of the patient may be equally traumatized as they too imagine the future with unknown implications of the illness. The prospect of death, extremely limited capability, or demanding needs will ripple through any family system as fear and anxiety grip the family dynamics. Every family situation will be different, of course, so there can only be cautious transfer of assumptions from any other situation of the illness. What is sure is that it is not only the patient who experiences the impact it is also felt throughout the patient's entire relationship system.

What is experienced by the patient and patient's network of family will be some unique combination of anxiety, grief, anger, despair, hopefulness, hopelessness, and fatigue. We know there are powerful linkages between mind and body . Today, there is a wealth of researched information about the positive or negative impact our minds can have on the health, healing or lack of healing of our bodies. When a patient has cancer, she and her entire caring system begins a journey that will include the emotions named above in varying degrees of intensity. How one deals with, or 'holds' those emotions is a critical focus. Again, information is critical so one can balance the emotions with the facts. This will not be a rigid linear process. It will be erratic. It is also important to know the difference between realistic and unrealistic expectations; the power of hope and hopefulness and 'false hopelessness'. It is important to know what healing looks like for this particular cancer. There is great power in optimistic attitude, but it can lead to fear of 'jinxing' one's self if the 'right' attitude is not sustained. My point here is that the patient often can benefit from a dialogue partner who is not deeply and emotionally attached. Patients often end up emotionally taking care of their caregivers, and this becomes a burden. Often a therapist can take this role, but a therapist is not required, nor will a good therapist be completely detached.

A final observation. Cancer of any life threatening illness is frequently traumatic in all the ways I've described above. Regardless of the outcome or trajectory of the illness, this experience can lead to a patient's determination to live a changed life no matter what the course the illness takes. Goals, interests, priorities frequently will be transformed in a way not considered prior to the intervention of the illness. Some people may be inspired to take far more control and live their lives with an intention they did not previously have. This process is the result of considerable time and effort. This new focus and motivation may become very precious to the patient as well as deeply satisfying. If that becomes the case, I can assure you, it comes with awareness and intention and at considerable cost of time focus. It is not by accident that some of the deepest human experience follows suffering."

What are some tips for coping with the decline of health from cancer?

"I have given some tips for coping with the decline of health from cancer so I would summarize with a few comments. First, get all the information possible. Be a student of not only the illness, but of your own responses. I'd encourage beginning a log or journal so you can track your process. In addition to learning all you can about the illness, I'd suggest learning all you can about the impact of mind on body. The best direct line I know of would be to take the classes of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction that are now prolifically offered just about anywhere. Never give up hope, but know what to realistically hope for."

What type of professional help is available for someone that is having a difficult time coping with the decline of health from cancer?

"Patients and their families often MUST become very serious advocates for themselves. Insurance companies may be of profound help or hinderance, most likely both. If assertiveness has not been a strong characteristic, I'd urge its growth and development. There is now critical need for it!

Obviously, therapy may be useful as a source of support and guidance. However it is important to recognize seeking that help is a sign of health and wholeness not pathology. The same resources may be found in non professional roles as well."

What last words would you like to leave for someone that is coping with cancer?

"Make the journey your own. Allow cancer to transform your life, but make that transformation of your own choosing. There may be new physical limits as a result of the cancer, but you may determine and establish new boundaries and new goals, new ways of living that far exceed the pre-cancer life you had."

Thanks Ralph for doing the interview on how to cope with the decline of health from cancer. For more information on Ralph Lind or his work you can check out his website on www.RalphLindCounseling.com .

Recommended Readings:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/231590/cancer_and_sleep_problems.html?cat=5">Cancer & Sleep Problems

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/192394/living_a_happy_life_with_cancer.html?cat=72">Living a Happy Life with Cancer

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/298834/teaching_children_about_cancer_of_the.html?cat=25">Teaching Children About Cancer of the Mouth