How to Cope with the Loss of a Pet

On January 17, 2008, my beloved cocker spaniel (Petey) of 11 years passed away. We got him as a puppy when I was ten years old. Although he was supposed to be the family pet, he took an instant liking to me and unofficially became my dog. He followed me everywhere I went and never left my side whenever I was sick. At times, he was my best friend in the world; just looking at him always made me smile. He had the sweetest disposition and was never vicious or mean. He was amazingly tolerant when my fiancé and I moved into our apartment and got two cats and two other dogs. Even when the cats would give him the occasional swat, he never fought back. For more than half of my life, he was always there. I was inconsolable when he passed on; I still am to an extent. The first couple of weeks were the worst. I could not stop crying or thinking about Petey. It is so difficult to lose pets because they become a part of your family and you grow accustomed to seeing them everyday. I do not think that I will ever fully recover from Petey's death, but there are some things that helped me get through the worst of it. I hope that these suggestions will be able to help others in their time of sorrow.

Although many people want to be by themselves when they are grieving, try to be around others as much as possible. Not being alone helps to keep your mind off your sadness. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful mother and loving fiancé who were there to comfort me after Petey's passing. Their love and support was very helpful to me. Not all people are good at comforting others; make sure that you choose to be around people that will make you feel better, not worse.

One of the things that made me the saddest about Petey's passing was the fact that I would not be able to see him everyday anymore. To help with this, I made a collage on the computer of all of my favorite pictures of him and hung it on my refrigerator. I also set his picture as my screensaver and I am planning to have one of his pictures enlarged and framed so I can hang it on my wall. I know it is not the same as having him here, but it makes me feel a little better to know that I can still see him when I want to.

Petey is buried in my backyard and my fiancé and I wanted to do something to honor his memory. We got him a beautiful granite headstone from Peternity.com. The staff was kind and sensitive and they did a wonderful job creating Petey's memorial stone. I also made him a little memorial spot on my myspace page.

Take on a new hobby or continue with an old one. I have been knitting for some time now and I found it to be a helpful distraction from my sadness. If knitting is not your forte, then do whatever works for you. Whether it is exercising, reading or golfing, etc... try to do whatever you find the most comforting.

I have always been a firm believer in the "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" theory. Keep your pet's pictures and favorite toys around. It may be painful to look at them sometimes, but it may also be of comfort to be near the things that your pet loved most. It was very hard for me to lose Petey, but I would rather have had him in my life for those eleven years than never to have known him at all.

Lastly, do not be afraid to cry. It is a horrible thing to lose a loved one and there is nothing wrong with having a good cry about it when you need to.

I will never forget what a wonderful pet Petey was and I will never completely get over losing him, but the aforementioned coping mechanisms were very helpful to me and I hope that they will be to you too.