How to Cope with Mommy Guilt

If you're a mom, you can't escape having "mommy guilt."

We moms feel guilty because our kids don't brush their teeth often enough - or good enough.

We have mommy guilt because we have to put off playing on the trampoline with the kids in favor of doing the laundry.

We have mommy guilt because we have to do computer work instead of reading stories together.

There are a few ways to better manage your time to avoid a few of these mommy guilt traps.

Managing Mommy Guilt: Set a schedule

As a homeschooling mom and freelance writer, I am home most of the time. I have to juggle teaching my kids, running a home and finishing writing assignments.

I have found that the most productive - and least guilt-inducing - way for me to manage these things is by setting a schedule for myself.

I set a schedule with specific blocks of time (usually on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) for my writing so it won't interfere with the rest of my life's activities. Granted, it doesn't always work and sometimes everything bleeds together, but I am working hard to be more diligent with the schedule.

Managing Mommy Guilt: Cut out distractions

The biggest distraction for me? My computer.

It silently beckons like an electronic crack addiction. The best way for me to avoid the guilt of spending too much time on the computer is to simply turn it off.

Yes, my hands shake with anticipated withdrawal as I flip those switches, but it must be done. I have to remind myself to turn it off after I check morning emails, read the news and weather and catch up with my other favorite websites.

Then it MUST go off. If I fail to turn it off, I will be sucked into the black hole of "just let me check my email real quick" which will turn me into a zombie that can't escape the tractor beams of addiction.

The same goes for the phone.

My voice mail message states that during certain hours of the day I am unavailable to take calls. Most friends and family know that I'll check the messages frequently and call them back pretty quick if they leave a message. Otherwise I could be stuck on the phone all day while missing out on family time and precious moments with my kids.

Along the same vein, anything that provides a distraction must be monitored closely: TV, video games, books.

Managing Mommy Guilt: Set specific times for family time

At our house, Tuesday night is always "Pizza and Movie Night." We will rent a newly-released DVD and make homemade pizza (or carryout if we have the extra funds) and settle in for some family time.

On Wednesday nights we try to do a game night. We choose card games, board games, video games - any game that we can all join in on.

Managing Mommy Guilt: Make a point to say "I love you"

Don't ever let a day go by without telling your kids that you love them. It doesn't matter how old or how young they are, make saying those three little words a regular habit.

Your son or daughter can never hear it enough from you.

Managing Mommy Guilt: You can't do everything

Realizing and accepting that you aren't "super mom" is important. Know that you are human and will make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes and move on.

Remember that you can't do everything and you can't be perfect. Accept your own limitations and you will feel less guilt.

The important thing to remember with mommy guilt is this: You do the best you can for your family. You can't compare yourself to your friends, your parents, or your neighbors because each family is unique.

If you feel the guilt overwhelming you, take stock in what can be changed to alleviate the guilt, then make those changes.