How I Coped with My Parents Cancer

How do you cope when one of your parent's have cancer? I cannot in all honestly say that I coped with my mother's cancer I survived. I learned that I had to grow-up and learn to understand what was going on and try to be there for her every step of the way. My mother was not only my parent; she was my very best friend. This was extremely difficult and ripped my heart into about as many pieces as one can have their heart in.

This began shortly after we had just lost my grandfather, her father. In the beginning, we didn't understand what was going on with my mother and not once did we think it would end with her leaving us. I lived with my parents, due to a separation from my husband. I had two children and like me they were witness to what would turn out to be two years of living in a nightmare. My mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer; one we were told was easily cured, with an excellent survival rate. It was heartbreaking to see my mother who was so strong, become weaker and weaker as time went on.

I had to focus my energies on the time we had and would not let myself dwell on what could potentially happen if the treatments didn't work. I went through a time where no one could even be near her, as she had a radiation treatment. In all of my childhood I could not really recall my mother crying, yet as her illness would progress tears would stream her face and it was the hardest thing I have ever witnessed. What could I, her child say to her to let her know I would be okay. My house became filled with family who wanted to spend time with her. I wanted that time also. At times, I remember feeling that I just wanted everyone to go away so I could be alone with her. Then I would feel guilty, because wasn't it a blessing that she was so loved? My children's tears were the hardest for me. They would sit at the window and watch endless times as she was taken away by ambulance.

Until that day I will never forget when she would not walk back into our home. I was there when she passed, holding her hand and telling her it was okay, that I would be okay. Did I cope? No, there is no such thing to me I lived, I get to go on, I still have time to make differences. My best advice to anyone reading this, treasure everyday, every minute, don't be left with any regret for things not said or done for them. Sit, listen and learn, they brought us into this world; they dried our tears, cared for us when we were sick and unconditionally loved us. Make every moment with them count, don't be selfish and think of what this is doing to you and your life, you will go on they might not.