How to Create a Giant Spider Meatloaf for Halloween

You know what I love at a Halloween party? Gross-looking food that tastes delicious. Halloween is a great opportunity to get creative with your cooking. I've served spider meatloaf at my Halloween parties for years, and it's been a hit with my guests time and again. Here are my instructions for creating a spooky main course that will have your Halloween party guests asking for seconds.

Plan your meatloaf.

The spider meatloaf is made from ground beef (or ground sirloin or turkey; see the 'Tips' section). I typically use 1 pound of meat for every 2 guests. If I anticipate 20 people, I'll make a 10-pound meatloaf. You could easily do 1 pound per 3 guests. But if your family enjoys leftovers as much as mine does, I'd recommend the original formula.

You will end up with a meatloaf of epic proportions. This requires a bit of preparation. First, you need to find something large enough to cook it in. I use foil turkey pans. Second, this meatloaf takes several hours to cook, so plan ahead. The prep time isn't bad; you will probably spend 15 minutes smushing all the ingredients together and shaping the loaf into a spider body.

That said, let's move on to the next step.

Gather your ingredients.

The ingredients for the spider meatloaf can be bought rather cheaply at Wal Mart or other discount grocers. The meat is the most expensive part, although I've included suggestions for cutting costs in the 'Tips' section below.

Here's what you'll need.

The edible stuff:

(These measurements will serve 20-30 guests.)

• 10 pounds ground meat
• 4 cups Italian breadcrumbs
• 5 eggs
• 2 cups grated parmesan cheese
• Salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste
• 2 jars 3-cheese spaghetti sauce
• 1 package frozen meatballs
• 1 box Pillsbury bread sticks (12 count, refrigerated)
• 1 jar of black food coloring

The other stuff:

• 1 small paintbrush
• 1 turkey roasting pan
• 1 pot with lid (for simmering)
• 1 non-stick cookie sheet
• 1 oven-safe rolling pin

Create the meatloaf body.

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees.

In a huge round bowl, combine the ground meat, Italian breadcrumbs, eggs, parmesan cheese, seasonings, and 1 jar of spaghetti sauce. Now wash your hands and start smushing! It takes a while to get everything thoroughly blended. It's also a rather disgusting tactile experience, but hey - it's Halloween. Keep at it until you've got a nicely mixed-up bowl of meat.

When you're done, press the meat firmly against the sides and bottom of the bowl. Then turn the bowl over and dump out the mound of meatloaf into your roasting pan. It should have a nicely rounded appearance, courtesy of your huge round bowl.

Take your fist and create a concave indentation in the top of the mound. This where your meatballs (or "spider eggs") will go after cooking.

Place the roasting pan in the preheated oven and plan to look in on it in a couple of hours. As a general rule, you should cook the meatloaf for 25-30 minutes per pound, or until it has an internal temperature of 160 degrees Fahrenheit. You can always cut into the center to check the progress. Any cuts you make will be hidden later by the meatballs and spaghetti sauce.

Bake the breadstick legs and eyes.

Shape the breadsticks according to the directions on the box. Place them on a non-stick cookie sheet. Drape the breadsticks across a metal rolling pin (or other non-flammable shaper) to create a curve. This curve will be hooked over the spider meatloaf body when you add the finishing touches.

Reserve some of the dough and roll it into little round eyeballs. You can make as many as you want. Sometimes I make mutant spiders with 12 legs and 6 eyes; it's all a matter of taste. You could also use black olives, green olives, or round mozzarella balls for the eyes.

Cook the breadsticks and spider eyes according to instructions.

Simmer the meatball "spider eggs".

Get a big simmering pot and pour in the frozen meatballs. After they've thawed a bit, pour in one can of the spaghetti sauce. Bring the concoction to a boil. Then decrease the heat to Low and cover the pot with a lid. After 15-20 minutes, you'll have some great-smelling meatballs sautéed in 3-cheese pasta sauce. These will be spooned over the top of the spider meatloaf to look like baby spiders or spider eggs.

Assemble and decorate the spider meatloaf.

Now comes the fun part! Drain the extra grease from your meatloaf pan. Take each baked breadstick and loop it over the spider's body until you have as many edible spider legs as you want. Poke some holes into the front of the meatloaf and place the "eyeballs" inside. Use your black food coloring and small paintbrush, to put a dot on each eye. I sometimes paint a smile on the meatloaf, too.

For the final touch, spoon your meatballs and sauce into the indentation on the spider's back. It's okay if some of the sauce dribbles down the sides of the meatloaf. In fact, it looks better that way. The finished product will look like a gigantic brown spider with bloody "eggs" on its back.

Spider Meatloaf Tips:

Anticipate some shrinkage. The fattier the meat, the more your spider meatloaf will shrink while cooking. A meatloaf made of 80% lean ground beef will shrink a few inches, but retain its general shape.

Cook a cheaper spider meatloaf. Ground beef can be pricey, especially when you're cooking a behemoth 10-pound meatloaf. To cut costs, substitute ground turkey (a one-pound tube is roughly half the price of a pound of beef) for half of the ground beef.

Cook a healthier spider meatloaf. If you'd rather have a leaner meatloaf, substitute ground sirloin for some or all of the regular ground beef. 90% lean ground sirloin is a good choice. Anything leaner might cook up too dry.

Add cheesy spider guts. For extra cheesy goodness, hollow out the raw meatloaf and put several cups of shredded cheddar or mozzarella cheese inside. Then seal the meatloaf back up and bake as usual. The cheese will melt and string when you serve up the spider meatloaf.

Eat and Enjoy!

The gigantic spider meatloaf is always a hit with kids and the young at heart. Pair it up with some ghoulish side dishes to give your guests a Halloween party to remember.

Sources:

1. Janna Weiss, "How to Cook a Fun and Easy Halloween Feast for Kids".