How to Create the Perfect Response Cards for Your Wedding

Your wedding invitations contain all the information your guests will need to attend your wedding. The location, time, and style. Your wedding invitations are the first glimpse into the time and effort you spent into every little detail of your wedding. With your invitation, you have an opportunity to not only convey a message to your guests, but to also get information back from them.

I'm talking about the response card.

The response card is just a little piece of paper that holds a lot of power. In many cases, this is the key to grasping the bottom line - just how much is this wedding going to cost? The response is your way of getting a headcount.

And the headcount drives so many costs - how many dinners will you need? Drinks? Chairs and chair coverings? Tables? And Centerpieces? And favors, place cards, and yes, it even drives the seating arrangement.

All sorts of choices and decisions are wrapped around getting back those simple little cards - but the sad reality is that many of them won't be coming back. Some will get taped to the fridge with good intentions, and others will get stuck to those expired pizza coupons and Chinese menus. Still others will end up shoved into some forgotten book at the bottom of a bookbag.

Yes - even with that pretty stamp on it. You would think that something so simple would come back in a heartbeat. But sadly, this isn't the case. And to think, there was a time when proper etiquette was to send back a formal hand written response - even without the card as a reminder.

The only way to prevent the loss of the response card is to make your card actually stand out in the crowd of junk mail and "to-do" lists.

I'm not saying to make it big and fancy. In fact, I love the idea of the RSVP postcard trend. That saves on your postage cost, so the forgotten cards won't hurt your wallet as much. What I'm talking about is making the words stand out.

Try some of these options:

1. Go with the traditional (this really isn't recommended).Kindly reply by the 4^th of July

M________________________

____ accepts

____ declines

The problem with this option is that it just doesn't have a lot of life. And I've never figured out that "M." What if the person is a doctor? Or in the military? Are you going to scratch out the "M?" And choose your date carefully. You want to give the guest plenty of time to respond, your caterer plenty of notice, and yourself enough time to call all the people who don't respond by the requested date. Remember that this option leaves the chance that someone will write in the name of an uninvited guest. Head them off by filling in the name yourself. (I suggest this often, because my philosophy is to do things right yourself)

A variation on the traditional is to use cute wording like :

___ gladly accepts

___regretfully declines

And if you feel like making fun of the fact that you're forcing them to accept gladly or decline regretfully, you can see some different options after a quick internet search such as:

__gladly accepts

__regretfully declines

__regretfully accepts

__gladly declines

And my favorite addition:

__ Will decline to respond, but ultimately attend. (since we know that's most likely going to be the case anyways!)

2. If you're having a theme wedding, or a destination wedding, you can incorporate those ideas into the response:

__I can't wait to wiggle my toes in the sand!

__I'm sorry, I'm afraid of a hurricane.

3. Play around with the food choices.

At some events, you actually will want to give your guests a choice of what they will want to eat. And, your caterer will need to know that information in order to prepare.

So, you could say:

Please indicate your dinner preference:

__chicken __beef __vegetarian

__sorry, we can't attend

But why not put a picture of the animal (or vegetable) instead of the word? Or actually whet their appetite by describing the actual entrée like "Seared Skirt Steak with Portobello Reduction and a Side of Vidalia Onion Rings."

Remember, if you need to know exactly who is ordering which entrée, not just the number of entrees total, then you need to give a response card for each individual invited. So, Aunt Frieda and Uncle Frank and their three children will get five response cards in their envelope. If you do this, make sure you write the name of the guest on the card to make sure you don't get a card back without a name. An alternative is to give a mini-spreadsheet:

Aunt Frieda ___chicken __beef __vegetarian __can't come

Uncle Frank ___chicken __beef __vegetarian __can't come

Jaime ___chicken __beef __vegetarian __can't come

Jimmy ___chicken __beef __vegetarian __can't come

Jeena ___chicken __beef __vegetarian __can't come

4. Get your guests involved!

There are so many ways you can get your guests to feel a part of your reception or the new couple's life. Some options you might consider at the bottom of the response card:

*Please give some advice for the new couple

*Please write down a song you would like played at the reception

*What is a favorite family tradition you would like to share with the newlyweds?

*Please write a family recipe on the back of the card to share with the couple

5. Get creative! But remember, you should know the temperament of your guests if you're going to get extra creative. After all, you don't want to offend anyone.

As for me and our wedding, we only had 24 people in attendance. We all sat around one table, family style. But I needed everyone to respond with their dinner choices, and they would have assigned seating, so I gave each guest their own card. Because everyone attending was close family, I took the liberty of getting extra creative (and I didn't worry about offending anyone). Everyone had fun sending in their response cards, and I actually kept and framed all of them.

My response cards read:

Don't fight over it...everyone gets their own card.

Mr. Freddie Brown

__Can't wait

__Can't come

And would like to dine on a creature:

__of the sea __of the coup

And furthermore, I'd like to say that the key to a successful marriage is...

(Go ahead! Give any advice you want!)

(Don't worry...spelling doesn't count, but blank cards will have severe consequences).

Kindly reply by the 10^th of October.

(Well, only if you'd like to sit, eat, and drink while you're here.)

___ Please check if you're concerned about paparazzi.

Our people will call your people.

And you know what? They all came back.