How My Dad Became a Sugar Daddy

Mom and Dad were married for 50 yrs. Mom died of cancer 3 years ago.

We had a nice family. 5 kids, grew up in suburbia in New Jersey.

Now Dad has a new family. He has become a Sugar Daddy to a 50 yr old widow, who was Moms friend.

This Gold Digger is a neighbor of my Dad. (and Mom). All any of kids heard about her was complaints from Dad. She has money problems, she has a disabled son, she has SO many problems.

The bomb was dropped to us in January. Dad had a girlfriend. We didn't even know he was dating. He wasn't. He never even grieved my Moms death. He wouldn't leave the street he lived on. He didn't see his long time friends. He even stopped shopping at the local grocery store so he wouldn't see his long time friends.

My oldest sister set this up. Big Sis was never part of the family. She left the house when I was 5 and she got married and had her own family. Big Sis hated Mom. When Mom died, Big Sis was telling Dad at her funeral he needs to date. Big Sis told him to take his neighbor out to dinner. He did. But it was just that, dinner.
Until, the widow saw the old widower as an opportunity. Here he was, with his big house, Lexus and another house in Florida. Here she was, needing a Sugar Daddy. This is how my Dad became a Sugar Daddy.

I started asking everyone I knew what they thought or knew of this situation. I created my own research, since I couldn't find much on-line. There really aren't any statistics to be found about older men with younger women. It's just the whole, May- December scenario. How it doesn't work, but could if they are really in love. What I found was just the basics How, a older man wants a young woman for ego. How a younger woman wants a older man to take care of her. I did find Internet sites like SugarDaddy.com. Yeah, that had real substance.

When I basically told friends or people I knew the short of the story they all agreed. A woman dating a man old enough to be her father has a reason.
They didn't even know it was previously established she was in credit card debt, couldn't pay her home taxes, her health-care costs and needs of her disabled son. They didn't know that before her husband died young, and was the princess. They did know she was a neighbor, and younger than Dads oldest child though. Most friends are sorry this is happening. They offer words of comfort, like 'maybe it's just a phase' or 'he'll wise up'. Interesting to me is that the older friends I asked (around Dad's age) basically said he's happy to be getting some young "nookie", so things won't change. Ugh, NOT what I want to think about. How shallow is that? But, that's a Sugar Daddy, isn't it?

My Dad, at 73, is officially a Sugar Daddy. He doesn't seem to care. This is something I just learned and it hard to deal with.
He has a young girlfriend, who is younger than his oldest daughter. He says he is happy with her family, because they are nice to him. Of course they are happy and nice to him, he's taking care of the Gold Digger. It's the Sugar Daddy family that is not happy.
Let's analyze this. The young woman is getting her bills paid for. She is getting her food cooked for her. She is getting nice gifts. She is getting trips. She is also making an investment of her time - don't think she's not thinking about when he passes and what she will inherit?

We are seeing Dad act like a fool. We are seeing him choose her family over ours. Our family that has been together over 50 yrs.
I'm sure this has occurred in others families, but I just don't hear much about it. It is sorta taboo to talk about.

Bottom line. I never thought this would happen in my family. It is happening now. We will see how it plays out. So far, Sugar Daddy is ignoring his family in favor of hers. Sugar Daddy is making stupid choices. How dare him not to want to see his own children and grandkids in favor of her?

In my own research I only found one person who said, 'it's okay, because he's happy'. First, the person who said this to me dated married men for all her life.
Second, she was not thinking of the implications of what a Sugar Daddy really is.

Isn't a Sugar Daddy always hooked up with a Gold Digger?
Don't the two go hand in hand? Isn't a Gold Digger basically a Hooker, and a Sugar Daddy a John?
Sugar Daddy gives money, gifts, trips, cooks for her, takes care of things. Gold Digger is younger (not really pretty though) but gives him the nookie and attention to get what she wants.
Never would have thought this would happen in my family.

When this first all happened I was the first to call him and ask, 'you have a girlfriend?' I explained this didn't sit right with me for many reasons. She's a neighbor younger than your daughter, she has money problems, she was a friend to Mom, we only knew her as a neighbor and the fact Dad has little patience for his 5 year old grand daughter - how is he going to deal with Gold Diggers 22 yr old disabled son? She also immediately said, 'let's move in together'. She didn't even meet the whole family yet. Talk about moving quick. Oh, the red flags went up, and flew sky high.

Dad became a Sugar Daddy because he was lazy. He didn't fully grieve Moms death, so he never socialized. He became a Sugar Daddy because the Gold Digger saw an opportunity and went for it. He became a Sugar Daddy because is a FOOL.