How to Date a Musician

Like pit bulls, musicians have a bad reputation. Don't listen to horrible stereotypes. Musicians are fascinating, exotic creatures offering excitement and creative adventures for the person willing to take on the often satisfying challenge of dating them.

If you're simply looking for a quick fling, you have it easy. You can have some fun and then set your musician free. But if you're prepared for the long term commitment of caring for a musician, you have your work cut out for you. Here are some time tested methods on hooking a rock musician.

The first step in dating a rock musician is, of course, to find a rock musician. The obvious venue to locate a musician is at a show. Chances are, ninety percent of any rock show audience are also musicians, so don't sell yourself short by only eyeing the performers on stage.

Next, ask yourself what kind of rock musician you'd like to take on. Are you striving for an already established rock star? Local guitar hero? Street busker? Each one offers different challenges, yet similar satisfying results.

Ever dream about having a song about you? Date a musician. The song might not actually be about you, but as long as your musician doesn't publicly talk about what the song truly means, you can be satisfied that people will assume it is about you.

Another perk is being part of an entourage. You will feel special strutting past fans waiting on line to get into the club. Plus, getting to hang out back stage puts the wawa on the pedal! Often, you'll get free drinks and other assorted goodies. Even if your musician is only part of a local garage band, at least you'll share in benefits not granted to average Joes and Josies.

In my own extensive experience, drummers tend to be the most reliable and even-tempered breed. This probably has to do with the fact that most rock star egos want to shine out front and drummers are stuck in the back, keeping the beat, creating the flow. Bassists also are generally laid back. Keep in mind, however, they are still musicians.

If high drama, unpredictability and unrivaled envy are your thing, perhaps a more excitable creature such as a hot shot singer or lead guitarist suits you better. Be willing to put up with brooding lyrics-as-poetry or long winded guitar strumming.

Self esteem an issue? Try hitting on the band member playing the glockenspiel or xylophone. The weirder the instrument, the less the competition.

Once you have your sights set on a particular musician, you'll need to present yourself and make it known that you're interested. Being cute, quirky or a musician yourself will definitely give you an advantage, but really anyone has a chance to capture a songbird. Naturally, flattery goes a long way. If you just heard the musician play or had heard their music prior, touch on that. A more subtle way to show you're a lover of music and worthy of a musician's admiration is name drop an obscure but inspiring band.

Congratulations! Now that you've snagged your musician, here a few tips on staying a top priority:

~Go to most gigs, but not all gigs. If something fantastic comes up, do it. You're not a groupie, you're a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Have your own life.

~Curb your jealousy. Let your musician talk to fans without death looks or tight arm gripping. Part of the perks of dating musicians is knowing other people adore them, but you're the one going home with them.

~Reserve harsh critical judgment on their music. You should be your musician's biggest fan. Give them opinions, but in general, keep it positive, even if you think the music's sloppy drivel.

~Be tolerant of band practice and recording time. Sometimes you will play second fiddle. The rewards are well worth being patient and supportive. Unless the band goes no where.

You are now well on your way to enjoying a long fruitful life with your musician. Remember, you can always sample all the sounds of the musical rainbow before you settle down. Or don't settle down at all. The wonderful part of dating musicians is there are many different choices and you will no doubt find more than a few to fit your lifestyle.

Say it loud, say it proud: I'm with the band!