How Dating Has Changed Over the Years

How Dating Has Evolved from Holding Hands to Texting During Traffic

Allen Smith
When Adam and Eve ventured out on their first date, romance was considerably easier than it is today. There weren't any other men and women to compete against, they didn't have to worry about what clothes to wear and Lucifer took care of the dinner arrangements.

Since that infamous date, the process of finding "Mr. or Ms. Right" has endured countless twist, turns and dead ends. Gold miners in the 1860s learned that they could bypass the dating scene entirely by mail ordering a bride for $10. They not only got someone who could put up with their poor hygiene but they could also buy someone who was willing to accommodate gaps in their manners larger than the spaces between their teeth. In the 1920s, "modern" dating took the form of socializing in group settings like church gatherings, community dances and hay rides. Relationships typically began with a suitor paying a visit to the young woman's home where she received him in the family parlor - chaperoned by her mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, pastor, 6 aunts and uncles, 8 brothers and sisters 12 dogs and 15 cats.

During World War II, dapper young American soldiers wooed innocent European ladies in crisp military uniforms and shoes so shiny they reflected the Lucky Strikes that hung from their lips. It wasn't until the 1980s that "casual Fridays" started a cultural revolution of expressing one's individuality in the workplace through fashion. The same dress standards enjoyed in the office spilled over onto the dating scene, creating several new guidelines: never wear blue jeans that show off more than half of your underwear and be sure that the total value of your wardrobe exceeds the cost of your date's entrée.

In our parents' generation, men and women showed respect for each other by navigating through a complicated set of dating conventions that began with formal introductions between the elders of two families that progressed to love letters delivered by snail mail, weekly telephone calls, followed by a year of chaperoned dates. Today, randy men and women can fast forward through awkward first dates by flirting on thousands of online dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony, Pentyoffish.com, Chemistry.com and Craigslist. From the comfort of their stained sweatpants, overweight, balding, unemployed losers with inferiority complexes can pretend to be virile, squash-playing, Harvard-educated orthopedic surgeons without the fear of ever having to actually meet anyone in person.

Singles on the prowl also need to master technologies that have infiltrated the modern dating scene - like text and instant messaging. Text messaging has replaced writing intimate letters in longhand and allows two people to trade innuendos as fast as their pudgy fingers can glide across a keyboard the size of a postage stamp. But, to play the game you need to learn a new language: text message abbreviations. Ten years ago you might have sent the following letter to your love interest:

Hi Jeff,

How are you? What's been filling your days? I loved hearing from you and I think you have a wonderful sense of humor. Your last letters tickled me and made me laugh. As you know, I'm looking for that special someone. Could you be the one? How about finally meeting face to face? Let's meet in real life to talk about a beginning a long term relationship, OK? I'll be at Starbucks at 4:00 PM. I'll be the one with the short mini-skirt and no underwear. Well, that's it for now, so I'll talk to you later. Please send me a note if you can make it. Bye bye for now. Anna

Today, people skip the hand-written note and dash off a quick text message while stuck in traffic:

HJ... Hig? Wayd? I loved hearing from u and think u have a gsoh. Your last 2 tm had me rotflmao. Ayk, I'm looking for that special some1. Could u be the 1? How about meeting f2f? Lmirl to talk about a ltr, ok? I'll be at *bucks at 4. I'll be the 1 w/ the smsnuw. Well, tafn so I'll ttul. Smaim if you can make it. Bb4n. Anna.

If all of your best efforts end in disaster, there's no reason to sulk. There are plenty of contemporary ways to handle rejection. Gone are the days of enduring that "Dear John" letter during final examinations. Instead, you can publicly humiliate your ex on the Internet. If you own a digital camera (and who doesn't?), you can post embarrassing photos of psycho-bitch caught on the toilet or wrapped in the arms of Raul, the tennis pro at exgirlfriendrevenge.net, revengesex.net or myexisabitch.com. There's even a handy self-help section on sweetrevengenow.com that will not only provide you with tips on how to seek vengeance on your cheating lover (subscribe them to 300 magazines or have 75 large pizzas delivered to their office) but also offers the newly jilted a complete line of revenge products like simulated doggie poo or a hand-crafted voo doo doll, complete with pins.

Published by Allen Smith

Living in Vail, CO, Smith published his first book in 2005 and has written for a number of newspapers, magazines and appeared on NBC news. He has won two Humor Press awards for comedy writing and enjoys writ...  View profile

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  • Frank Mucci8/12/2010

    How did you know my sweatpants are stained?

  • L. Vincent Poupard8/12/2010

    The Lucifer line will have me laughing all day.

  • Debbie Henthorn8/12/2010

    This gave me smiles today!!! Now - do you have the secret decoder ring for the 2nd "love letter"?

  • Linda Ann Nickerson8/12/2010

    Thanks for the laugh. ;-)

  • Theresa Leschmann8/12/2010

    Too funny. So glad I'm not in the dating pool anymore.

  • theBarefoot8/12/2010

    "Lucifer took care of the dinner arrangements," Bahaha! But what were those European girls doing in military uniforms? (BTW, FB shared).

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