How to Deal with an Abusive Boss

If you have ever been employed by someone who is an abusive boss, you know how dramatic each day at work can be. I recently found myself in this position. I found a part time job to offer some extra cash at a restaurant near by my home. I was told that I would work two four to five hour shifts a week, primarily on the weekends. Considering my situation I was very happy to have picked up a few hours outside of my home.

Initially my boss's wife asked me if I would be interested in helping out for an extra two hours a week, during the week. As a brand new employee I didn't want to refuse and get off on the wrong foot with my new employers, so I said I would be fine with working ten hours a week, and I appreciated the opportunity. I also politely reminded her of my other obligations to prevent a pattern from emerging.

Well, the situation was not promising at the new part time job. Within the first week of my employment I picked up a lot of hours I was not interested in. Simply put, employees quit, got fired and new employees were hired on a daily basis. I am not even kidding when I say, daily there was a staff change. Someone came or went so often I stopped learning names, why bother? In a week I had already seen five servers come, seven servers quit, and we had a new dishwasher and chef. So there were two others who either quit or got fired.

The calls began immediately. Every morning at four am my boss would call and threaten me, he would say things like "If you are out looking for a new job, I will kill you," and "I don't care what you are doing I need you here now. Don't make me come find you..." In a nutshell, my new employers were controlling my life. I had to cancel my doctors appointments, I couldn't have a day off to have my kitchen sink repaired, and so on. This went on for months. If I didn't answer the phone, my boss would keep calling. He called thirty five times in one day! He also came beating on my door that same day, I had the good sense to just not answer.

When I saw him getting physical with a very small lady, I knew I was in trouble. I should not have been working for this guy. As he slammed her up against the wall, with his eyes glowing I got very scared and called the police. As they arrived he made a comment about the girl he assaulted calling the cops, and he pulled my hair very hard and told me "Keep your god damned mouth shut or your family will be missing you."

Well, I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I just kept walking on eggshells at work, trying to not set him off. Its a shame I really needed the extra money. I should not have been dealing with that. Sometimes I am envious of men, because they would deal with this situation in ways I couldn't.

After six months of crying before and after work six days a week, and feeling so overwhelmed that I nearly lost it, I decided on something. I was not going to be bullied, or abused by anyone for a few extra dollars every week. I saw my schedule, which if you recall was to be ten hours a week at over forty hours, and I said "I can not take all of these days. I have my own commitments, as you are aware." My boss said "You will be here, if you want to argue you can pick up two more days."

I said "No, I am not taking any more hours, or even half of these." My boss said "You little bitch," he lunged across his desk to again pull my hair. He pulled out a handful of my hair and threw it at me. He said "Talk back to me again and see what happens..." With that I opened my soda, tossed it in his face. I said "No, you ever touch another woman like that again, and I will personally see to it that YOUR family misses you. You will hear from me again, you should watch your back old man."

I didn't know I had it in me. I walked away from there feeling free, and great about myself. I finally stood up to my abusive boss.

If you are in a situation that is abusive at work, there are many options, you might feel trapped, but you are not. There are jobs out there, you just have to look for them. No one should treat you like that over a few dollars, or for that matter a lot of dollars doesn't make abuse okay.

If you are being threatened, harassed or abused in any way at work, first begin documenting the actions that make you uncomfortable in a notebook. Talk to someone at work and let them know what is happening. Try to avoid contact with the abuser, or at least have another person around if you do have to interact with this person. Don't hesitate to call the local law enforcement if you are scared or upset by this. In fact you owe it to yourself to seek the assistance of the cops. There are also ways of putting a stop to this problem, check with your local labor board, or an attorney.