How to Deal with an Angry Toddler

Parents will often ask themselves what they've done wrong and why the child is suddenly acting out, but they don't call it "the terrible two's" for nothing! The first thing to remember is that the anger and rage a toddler may be showing may be completely normal. A child may go from being completely behaved to only seeming to know the word "no". It's important for parents to remember that kids get to a point where they're understanding a great deal more than a parent may realize, yet their communication skills may not quite be there yet. Children become frustrated because they can't seem to effectively communicate with their parents. They hear people talking and conversing all day long and they feel like they are becoming little adults, yet they have little to no control over what goes on in their daily life. By now, a parent may be used to doing just about everything for the child, but the child may be ready to venture out into independence and begin doing things for themselves. This may cause a lot of struggle and attitude changes with the child that the parents may not be ready for.

Most of the bad toddler behavior is really about the child testing boundaries and trying to determine their limits. To a parent, the child's sudden outburst may seem sudden and unpredictable. It's important to remain calm with your child and keep your patience. What usually works most effectively for parents is to find what the child dislikes and use it to discipline. For example, if a child is told to stop doing something, but refuses and the parent knows that the child doesn't want to leave or go without a treat, the parent can ask the child, "do you want to leave". If the child says "no", the parent can say, "okay, if you don't want to leave, stop doing....". The child will usually stop whatever it is they're doing. The most control a parent has over a child is taking something away or preventing the child from doing something they want to do. Physical abuse should never be used to do this, but a parent can still discipline a child by removing them from a situation or taking an item away from.

Parents need to stay consistent and need to work together as a team. It's important to remember that parents will not always see eye to eye or agree on everything. Kids will recognize this and will test it, but the most important thing is for parents to work together. Disciplinary methods and important decisions should be made together and sometimes away from the child. If a child asks a parent about something they're not sure about it, the parent should explain to the child that they need to speak to the other parent about it and will get back to the child later. Make a decision about the situation or question and speak to the child together, as a team. Never say yes to something you're not absolutely sure about before speaking to the other parent, as this creates conflict and the child may play one parent against the other. Kids learn at a very young age what they can get away with and what they can't, so start this process immediately.