How to Deal With a Blizzard

After the blizzard has stopped its 3 days of misery and the sun starts to shine again, take some time to admire the enchanting scenery. Take in the way that the blowing snow has blurred all the edges of your world, so much so that you can't really see where your driveway starts - or stops, for that matter. And you mailbox has vanished, but you can forget the mailbox anyway; if you can't get to it, neither can the mailman. Think of it as a reprieve from the world.

Admire the sculptured lines of the snowdrifts, but do remember that somewhere under that drifted snow, your car is whimpering with the cold. For those of you who are not used to measuring snow in yards, take the advice of an old timer. Do not decide to suddenly rush out and clear the snow in 10 minutes - it just won't happen, and keep in mind that there will probably be a shortage of emergency beds at the hospital so it is the wrong time to have a heart attack.

Take your time. First off, dress as warmly as you possibly can. The thermometer may say - 2f, but with the wind-chill it could be as low as -22f. If you have any windproof or waterproof clothing, wear it. If you own any type of goggles, wear them. Once you are kitted up so your lover wouldn't recognise you, it is time to venture forth.

The first thing to do is clear a path to the car or where you think the car is. Try not to dig down to ground level and throw shovelfuls of snow off to one side or over your shoulder macho style. Instead, make sure your snow-shovel does not go to ground, so to speak, but a couple of inches above it, and if possible push the snow.

Once you have cleared a path round the snow drift that you think is hiding your car, have a break; you will need it. By this time, if you are wearing a scarf over your mouth, and you wear glasses, you will be blind - not snow-blind you understand, but breath blind. As you breathe out, your breath is redirected upwards and fogs up your glasses - the fog freezes immediately.

When you've had a coffee and can see again, do not attack the snowdrift with a shovel or a broom. If you use a shovel, you are likely to smash your car's windscreen as you probe for it, and if you use a broom, it will scratch the paintwork. One way of knowing exactly which part of your car is where, is to have an extended aerial, with a flag attached.

What you should use to find your car is a brush like the one you normally use to clean the screen and windows - you know the type - the one you left in the trunk! In future, you will know to keep one in the car, in the office, and at home. Once you've uncovered the driver's door, and reached in to start the car up, you can do what you should have done in the first place - phone up your boss and discover the office is closed for the day.

Never mind, look at the exercise you've had.