How to Deal with Bullies in the Workplace

Aggressive behavior can be either physical or verbal. In the workplace, you may hear aggressive behaviors such as name-calling and rude remarks between co-workers. These "bullying" behaviors may have several origins, including unmanaged anger directed to a nearby target, a person's misguided effort to enhance self-esteem by demeaning others, or even a means by which the person seeks to gain power and control over others. The victim's distress is two-fold, how to manage the anger that they feel toward the offender, and what to say in response to the offensive attack.

Listed below are some suggestions for managing emotional distress, as well as verbal responses that can stop the offender in their tracks.

Relax. Instead of allowing your muscles to tighten, let your arms hang loose. Take a deep breath (one that expands your diaphragm, not your chest). Look calm, even if you aren't.

Smile instead of frown. This will have a dual effect of both helping to diminish the angry feelings, as well as confuse the attacker.

Speak softly rather than loudly. Matching the offenders' vocal volume will only escalate the incident.

You can kill insults with understanding: "You must have had a hard day to be so angry."

You can make it difficult for someone to continue being rude by acting as if you have just been complimented: "Thank you for taking such an interest in me!"

Find some level of truth in the worst insult and be complimentary: "Thanks for trying so hard to help, I know I can do this better if I will follow your advice."

Exaggerate the insult and take full ownership: "Oh, you are absolutely right, I am whining!"

Use humor to deflect any importance placed on the cruel comments.