How to Deal with Children's Fears

There is more to children's fears than just the scary things during Halloween. For school-age children Halloween is fun, the scarier the better and there are no long-term effects. With young children scary things can leave a long-lasting impression. So, how do we deal with a child's fears? Remember all children experience some fears as a natural part of growth and development. When they are afraid children need support and reassurance. Here are some of the common fears children have:

Fear of Separation or Loss

A child depends on your attention and care. When you are not around this upsets children. As children make friends and get involved in activities, this fear slowly subsides.

Fear of Animals

Children may cry and refuse to go near animals. Animals, especially dogs, bark loudly, jump and frighten children. The kids are afraid of being bitten.

Imagined Fears of Monsters and Scary Creatures

Children think that what they see is really happening. Children may have nightmares when you read them frightening stories or they see violent and scary movies.

A Fear of Their Own Anger

This fear is not one we think of often, but it happens. Children may feel guilty or blame themselves if an adult gets sick or hurt. It's because they think their words or thoughts can cause things to happen.

This next section discusses things that you can do to help a child overcome their fears.

-Encourage children to talk about their fears. Communication and letting out the inner fear makes it less threatening and children will realize that they are not alone.

-Listen carefully and show that you understand what the child is feeling.

-Reassure children that they will not get hurt. Speak with confidence and say, "I am here to protect you. I will not let anything happen to you."

-Be loving, caring, warm and friendly. Being held close can help, so hug and hold hands while you talk about the feelings.

-Be patient, as a child's fears do not disappear overnight. It takes time and some fears may suddenly go away for a while but then reappear at a later time. Do not get discouraged that you may need to repeat the same procedure and reassurances again and again.

-Don't make fun of a child's fear. The fear is very real to children, no matter how silly it may seem to adults. Telling children they shouldn't have fears does not make it go away. Only time and positive experiences can do that. If the child is laughed at or rejected, the original fear will not go away but now a new fear of rejection and disapproval may arise.

-Never threaten children with punishment relating to their fears. Scaring a child can only cause and crate other problems and greater fears. Also don't make children face things that they are not ready to face. For example don't say, "Go near that big dog now and you'll see he won't hurt you."

-Allow children to handle fears slowly with your encouragement and support. Help children to "do it for themselves," so they can develop their own ability to deal with life. Introduce a feared object slowly and in parts when possible. For example, if a child is afraid of a dog, play with stuffed animals first, then maybe a puppy before introducing a larger dog. For a child who is afraid of a dark room, hold hands, turn off the lights, and point out things that are well known to him.

-Set good examples. Fear and courage are catching. Children imitate adults, so they react both from what you say and what you do. Admit your realistic fears, but do not involve your child in them.

-Teach realistic fears for the children's own safety. There are real dangers in life so we must warn children of things that could hurt them. Emphasize not to touch electric outlets, sharp knives, matches, or broken glass. Tell them to stay away from hot stovetops, bees, and strange animals and people.

Yes, there are fears in life, some that are necessary for protection and others that are more imaginative than we'd like. Work on dealing with children's fears using these tips together. However, if fears are becoming a threat to the child's health, please seek advice from a trained counselor.

Sources:

Fears

Understanding Chlldren's Fears

Personal Experience