How to Deal with the Clueless Spouse

Many of us have great marriages and would not change a thing except the fact that our other half seems to be clueless with certain things in life. Everything from housework to bill paying and budgeting it's always stressful when you can't figure out why they can't just see the same thing you do. It's time to stop stressing over the way you figure they should be and just accept the fact they are clueless. But there are ways to get around the situation and solve the problem with the least headaches for both partners.

Starting with the good old list. You may feel you shouldn't have to leave a list, but get over it. It is an answer to a problem. So sit down with your other half and find the time to go over what bothers you and listen to what bothers them about you. You aren't perfect either.

1. If housework is the first problem then create a list. Make it large enough to see and place it where your spouse will not miss it. Even if you tape it to the TV screen. List just a few items you would like done before a certain time. Dishes washed very well by 4pm. Counters washed and dried after dishes are done by 4:05pm. Take out trash before 5pm.

Always start small with a list and always say thank you and what a great job they did when it's done on time and correctly. Be adjustable, because it will take practice.

2. Some spouses are clueless when it comes to how much money is coming into the household and how much is needed to run it. Find some time together to teach your other half how to take care of bills, how much is needed and how much there is to run the home. If they are more aware of what it takes they may be more likely to watch the purchases. Make a list of what comes in and what goes out and where. If there is anything left on the list such as money you both have to figure out why you never have any.

Set a budget for certain things during each pay period and stick to it. This applies to both people! Don't set a lower budget for your spouse and a higher one for you. It's not fair and will eventually cause a fight. If the other wants extra for something special you need to discuss where the money will come from in the budget or find a way to earn the extra income.

3. Share a hobby you can do together. Watch the cost of everything that is involved with the hobby. Notice what each person wants out of the hobby. Don't be greedy and demand everything you want by telling yourself the other wants the same thing. Maybe they don't.

4. If you want romance and your other half is clueless stop feeling hurt or slighted. Tell them you would like a little more romance and give them a list of what would help. More compliments, flowers from the yard, an extra hug during the day, candy once a week, holding hands while in bed, having dinner fixed for you without fuss and griping. Many times men do not know what is romantic so you have to help them along and women are all different in what they view as romantic for themselves. Sometimes it's no more than doing the dishes for you once a week.

5. The biggest clueless for both people are feelings. Wondering if the other cares how you feel about something. Do they love you? Did she want something from me when she was crying and why was she crying? Why did she throw the dog at me? Why is he leaving to be with his friends? You have to talk to each other about these situation and you have to listen. Don't get mad for reasons the other can't figure out. Discuss and find a solution to suit both of you.

Being involved or living with a clueless person can be very hard, but most of the time you just consider it an adventure in learning and have fun. Good luck to all the clueless and clueless lovers everywhere!