How to Deal with a Combative Teenager

While there may be exceptions, teens as a rule are a rebellious and often combative lot. This is a challenging time for parents, and a true test of their parenting skills. It is paramount to remember to approach a combative teen with patience and openness. The irritability, argumentativeness, and defiance that might fluster you so is perfectly normal behavior for a teen, who is, in turn, dealing with a range of issues of his own. Just think back to your days as a teen, and try to relate.

Studies suggest that a majority of teens will undergo an increased need for independence as they enter adolescence; a balancing act, between depending on parents, and striving to prove their capacity to do things themselves. The drive towards independence and self-rule leads to an emergence of their own identities quite similar to when they moved thorough each of the stages of childhood. They are discovering who they are.

Teens find themselves ever-searching, questioning, and experimenting, to find the best fit persona they wish to adopt for the years to come. Friction is generated between teens and parents, who have a hard time reconciling their view of the teen as almost being an adult instead of their baby. Teens also go through extensive physical changes and the chemical changes that can wreak havoc with their tempers, attitude, and overall mood. The company your teen keeps, his level of activity, and involvement with the family, all affect the extent to which he will rebel.

Rebellion takes on many forms as your teen is shifting between interests and personality traits to identify ones that fit them best. This may manifest in a new hairstyle today and an altered choice in music tomorrow. Your teen may reject every other rule you set, or even run away from home, for a time. Keep an eye out for particularly destructive habits such as substance abuse and make sure that a causal issue between you and your teen, whatever it may be, is not generating more drama than it deserves. Being ready to adapt and adjust to your teen's changing needs is vital.

Engage your teen in friendly discussions and let them know that their problems are never so dire that they need to be hidden from you. Be helpful, but ready to concede space. At times, your teen's actions are drastic enough to require punishment. Remember to pick your battles and let them know that it is their actions, and not they themselves that are being sentenced. Weigh punishments with the nature, degree, and frequency of the offence, and ensure that your teen has not become desensitized to your methods of control.

Put yourself in their shoes and parent accordingly. I know this is much easier said than done, but fear not, your teenager will eventually grow into his personality and become an adult that you can not only get along with but respect and enjoy.

Source: Author Experience, Medicinenet.com