How to Deal with the Competitive Mom

"So Jane is now crawling, pulling herself up to a stand, and is eating table foods like a pro. How's Aria doing?"

I stared blankly at my friend for a moment, searching for a good answer. Honestly, my 9 month old daughter wasn't doing any of those things, even though she was born right around the same time as little Jane. Sure, Aria could sit up by herself, but she was content to just stay there, not making an attempt to move. And every time I tried to give my daughter little puffs that would melt in her mouth, she'd gag as soon as they touched her lips.

A little part of me felt defensive for some odd reason, like all of the accomplishments Aria's had in the last 9 months just weren't enough. It got me to thinking that a lot of moms feel the same way, like it's a competition out there, which is silly since none of us are really in control anyway. I have co-workers with babies as young as 3 months who are already freaking out because Sammy down the street is holding his head up and laughing but their little one hasn't even tried yet. It seems silly to worry about such things when there's so much else to worry about, but sometimes you honestly can't help how you feel.

So how does a mom deal with the doubt, worry, and frustration that comes with talking to a competitive mom? Here are some ideas that just might help you out.

Change the subject
Have you discovered a new book that you're dying to discuss? Are there any new movies you're itching to see? Changing the subject will not only deter your friend from comparing babies, but it can help stir up some much needed adult conversation. And if you change the subject every time your friend plays the comparison game, maybe she'll get the hint that you're not into playing it.

Point out your own baby's achievements
So maybe your little one's not yet crawling, but there are plenty of things to be proud of, and you can easily point them out. Instead of comparing what she isn't able to do, instead list the things you love, like how she smiles so easily, and how your world just lights up when you hear her giggle. It may seem cliché, but counting your blessings is so much better than counting what she can't do yet.

Appreciate her pride
Try to remember that more often than not, this other mom is not trying to be malicious, but rather she's probably just so proud of her own child. And often times competitive moms don't even know that they are just that. Gush with her about her baby and move on to another topic.

Honesty
When all else fails, there is nothing wrong with just telling the truth. Tell her that you're just happy your baby is healthy, and that's all that matters to you. Be honest and state that you feel uncomfortable comparing your babies and you believe that every child develops differently anyway. She should hopefully get the point at that time.

Avoidance
If this competitive mom in your life is not a friend of yours, than why not just avoid her? You can look at it like any other friendship: if the relationship is trying and it doesn't make you feel good, then why validate it with wasted time?