How to Deal with Death

Death is a word children do not understand.

My mother died when I was 5 years old of lung cancer. My father took care of my 2 brothers and I . I was very sad and felt left by my mother. Death was a word I could not come to understand at all at that age. I did not got to her funeral or wake. My father thought it was in the best interest not to go see that other side of life. He feared how I would react. My brothers Kevin and James went to the funeral part. It bothered them at more than it did me because they were much older to understand she was not coming back. We all attended family counseling, which we needed to help grief.

My father at the time of her death dealt with the fact she died of something he could not prevent. For at least 5 years he took care of us, went on with his life for us kids, and paid the bills. He treated us with love and care. I guess as we grew up we were more problems on his hands. We had sleepovers, friends, and we got away with alot with him. He spoiled us in everyway. Well, I would say he thought we were getting away with too much.

My two brothers got older and wanted to go to college when they turned 20, and they did. My dad and I were alone together now. I thought would be great for us and it was for a little while. Little by little he started drinking. He never seemed to have a bad attidude with it. Then I guess from being alone for so long it bothered him. He didn't want to replace his wife who died.

The next year that my brothers were in college, my dad drank more. He cut work hours to come home to drink, got tickets for driving with alcohol in his system, and became very verbally abusive. I called my family counselor and I begged her after so many months of dealing with my father like this. She came to my house and had a talk with him. My dad attended AAA meetings and did great . He had no bad days where he hit the bottle for a drink . He was doing great and said he would do it for his wife. Do you know what it does to a kid when they see there parents drink away their life? It is not a pretty sight to see.. He use to call me every name in the book, put me down and break things in the house.

Now we do alot together and are much happier that the bottle in not in our house anymore. It is much easier to go out together and talk. When he use to get drunk I would not go out with him, it was embarrassing. We do not want to remember them days ever agian. It is a part of life when one loved ones dies. You have to be around alot of family and friends to deal wiht it. Never ever do you want to deal with problems alone because you will hit rock bottom.

This is my story for them parents who think that kids don't know what they are doing. Please stop and get help. It hurts to see them drink and its sad.